10 Reasons Why It Is Important To Have Multi-Generational Relationships For Your Kids

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

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podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

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way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come and hear all the discussions, get all the

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tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into

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the real challenges and raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

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big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

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minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

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and leadership that elevate the family experience, and sets the

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kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch

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their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the

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6570 family project. Let's go

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Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the 6570

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family project podcast where we are putting aside the power

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struggles and finding the way to lead our young women toward the

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confidence, respect and wisdom that they need to prepare them

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for the outside world. And today, we have a great topic

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that a lot of parents really don't think about, but is super

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important to me. And a huge part of development, especially of

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perspective. So today, we're going to talk about the top 10

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reasons why it is so important to have multi generational

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relationships for your kids. And what I mean by that is not just

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your 10th grader being friends with other 10th graders or your

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sixth grader being friends with other sixth graders, that is

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important, but it is really important to to bust out of

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those constraints and those boundaries, and have friends

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that are younger and older. So that we can start to gain a lot

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of this perspective and wisdom. So that really is our number one

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reason right there, your child will see and hear things from

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other people's perspectives. Now perspective is something that we

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gain along life's path. And we just keep gaining more and more

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and more. Think about every experience as a new lens that is

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being put into the great telescope that you view life

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with. Every one's perspective is very different. There's not a

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single pair of people that does or ever has, or ever will exist,

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that has the same exact perspective because we all live

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different lives. And when your child can see and hear things

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from other people's perspectives, then it broadens

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that idea for them. And it's not just the this is my way or the

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highway. And this is what I think and I'm going to throw out

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anything that anyone else thinks right? In our teen and tween

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world, especially for our young women today, it is very easy to

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walk that line, they are simultaneously being told that

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what you want is what you should have, and it is your way or the

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highway and you know the heck with everyone else. But also at

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the same time saying we need to accept and fully embrace

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everybody. And it's very confusing for our young women.

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And so when we can hear things from other people's

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perspectives, especially people that have lived in multiple

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generations with multiple quote unquote, trends and things like

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this, then it can give so much more perspective to our young

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women today as to what's happening right now. Because if

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they're living in the fishbowl of what is happening right now

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and thinking this is the way it always has been and always will

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be, then that can be a really tough place when things

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inevitably change because we all know that they will. And so

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hearing things from other people's point of view can kind

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of break that fishbowl a little bit and help them see things

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more from an aerial point of view, and how things are

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constantly changing in world culture in school culture and

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child culture. And, and all of those. So seeing and hearing

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things from other people's perspectives is gold. And then

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we have number two, which is wisdom from people who have

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actually been there, right? Maybe your child is in a

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relationship and they're all you know, flustered and they don't

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know what to do and you've tried talking to them, but you're just

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the parent and they don't want to necessarily listen to you. So

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maybe there's somebody else that they can talk to someone who has

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really fallen in love someone who has really had these

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experiences. and can hear them out, right? Maybe there's

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something happening in the world, and there's conflict in

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the world. And they're feeling very heavy about that. And they

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want to talk to somebody that has been there during other

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world conflicts, right? How that made them feel. Maybe they are

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going through some sort of obstacle, and this other person,

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no matter what age they are, they have been through that

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obstacle before. In fact, one of my daughters is very interested

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in acting. And so we happen to know somebody that is a child

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actor. And so I recommended getting on the phone with that

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person. And because this other young lady is younger than my

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daughter, she was like, I could not, I could not get advice from

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someone younger than me, I was like, girl, she has way, way,

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way, way, way, way more experienced than you do. So this

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would be a really good conversation to have. And it

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breaks. And through that conversation that we had, I was

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able to break through some of her resistance to I am this age,

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I cannot learn from someone younger than me, I can mentor I

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can teach, I can lead someone younger. But I cannot be taught

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by someone younger than me, which we all know, as we get

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older man is going to happen a lot. So it's a good thing to

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start learning early and good conversations to have. So number

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three is reinforcement of your own parenting from others. So in

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this one, maybe someone or something is happening in your

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home. And there's a little bit of a wall up between you and

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your child, because there's some you know, maybe the wall is made

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out of some animosity, some frustration, some embarrassment,

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some, I don't want to do it because I don't want to do it.

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You're telling me because you're just trying to get me to do what

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you want me to do type of thing, right? I know you're I can, I

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can hear and feel you all nodding at me right now. So

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maybe talking to another person would look like, I know this

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feels hard right now. But they are really doing this because

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they love you. And I've seen what happens when parents don't

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do this. And that's not where you want to be. Right? So

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reinforcement of your own parenting very powerful. Number

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four, is others can lift them up in ways that you can't, right.

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You're so beautiful, is told to you by your husband sometimes.

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And you're like, Oh, thank you, you know, and then your neighbor

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who you don't even know as well says, Wow, you look really

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beautiful today. And you're like, well, thank you really,

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really? Oh, wow. Well, thank you so much, right? And so getting

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compliments, and really getting lifted up from other people can

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be very, very powerful. My kids tell me all the time, if they

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walk in, I'm like, Wow, you look really beautiful. Today, you

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have to say that you're my mom. And I was like, Well, no, I

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don't have to say it. And yes, I am your mom, but you really are

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beautiful today. But I know that if they went out and somebody

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else told them that they were beautiful that it would mean

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even more. So just some, some cues there to always lift up

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other people, right? Number five, you can gain insight of

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your child from different perspectives of the people that

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they are with. And that is really key. Because, again, we

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only see through our one lens, right, our one telescope, if you

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will, that's filled with our hundreds of 1000s of lenses of

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perspective we've collected along the way. And so when we're

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seeing it one way, maybe somebody else that's talking to

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them, and then you talk to them afterwards can see it from an

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entirely different perspective and give you clarity that you

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just never knew was there before, right? So what others

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you can see what others see. And your children can many times

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show different faces to different people, right? So you

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see one side, and they're showing another side to somebody

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else. And so that is another exposure that you can have in

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order to get to know your child more. And you're when you're out

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there and people tell you about your kids. Like, I get told a

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lot. You know, your children are just so polite. They're so grown

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up and I do not say that to my own horn. What I'm saying is

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when I am home and there is ruckus and chaos, and there is

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you know, Sr, SAS and there is all these things happening. And

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I'm like, oh my goodness, right? And then I go out in public. And

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you know, they're still doing some of that, but we're just

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being our normal, goofy selves. And I have someone come up and

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say your girls are so polite and so well mannered. I'm like,

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really? Oh, well, thank you so much, right? It's hard to see

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when you're so close and so other people bring the

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perspective of backing up and seeing what's really going on.

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Alright, and another one number six, is it is more realistic to

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the real world to have multi generational relationships

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right. Once they graduate High School and they are not in their

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class anymore. They are thrust into either the workforce or

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university setting where there is multiple different, different

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ages. And so if we can get them communicating effectively with

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older generations and younger generations before they leave

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home, than they will be set up with that much more their self

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esteem, right? How they value and appreciate your themselves

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will be so much more equipped, if we can do that and give them

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those experiences before they leave home. And then teaching

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the younger generation. So now I'm specifically talking about

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younger generations there. It gives them a leadership role, a

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teaching role, a caregiving role, and it really does keep

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them young too. It helps them realize when they are, you know,

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in their tweens, and they're in middle school, and they're like,

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I cannot, you know, quote, unquote, play anymore, I can

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only hang out, but then maybe a neighbor kid comes over or a

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cousin or even a younger sibling, and all of a sudden,

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they are doing Legos, and they're maybe even I don't know,

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playing with dolls, or doing makeup and all these things. And

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they're like, Oh, well, we're just still hanging out, we're

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not playing, but you know, that they're playing. So that's okay,

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we want them to be able to enjoy all the aspects of imagination

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and play play is so important. There's experts on play out

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there for even adults. And so we don't want to ever put play on a

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shelf, right, and being around younger people that allows them

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to keep play an active in their life. And then obviously, having

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friends of the same age is very beneficial because it helps them

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because they're going through the same challenges many of the

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same challenges, right, they're being exposed to the same

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things. They have different perspectives from different

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families. But they can, you know, they're having the same

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history test, or they're are going to the CTS, at the same

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time, they're having end of year exams at the same time, those

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type of things are very, and not to mention, maybe they have

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grown up with them for a long time. So there's long term

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relationships in there, too. And then number nine is learning how

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to cultivate friendships. You know, if we just gave them the

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small pool of, of children, or kids or teenagers that are in

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their class, then that is a very small pool compared to the

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world. And so when we can teach them how to go out and make more

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friendships, both older, same age and younger, then they're

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going to have that much more practice on how to cultivate

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friendships. And it really is a beautiful thing. And lastly, is

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independence, right? They don't have to rely on you for all of

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their entertainment, they don't have to rely on you for all of

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their guidance, you are their primary guidance, hands down,

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you are the family architecture, as parents, you are building

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designing and planning with them in the second half of childhood.

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But you don't have to do it alone. This is the village

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concept, right? It takes a village. And so they can go out

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and seek guidance from other people bring it back, digest it

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with you digest it with themselves and their quiet time

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and all of these things. So independence is definitely part

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of that. So those are a lot of reasons right there, why it's so

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important to have those multi generational friendships. And it

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all really does come down to growing that self esteem like I

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talked about. And speaking of self esteem, you guys may 9

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through 14th Is the Ignite her joy parenting workshop. If you

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have not registered yet, be sure to go and register. It is Nelly

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hardin.com/ignite. And this is a recurring. So even if this is

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past May, when you are listening to this, that is okay, you can

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still go on and register for the next one. Because this is for

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people that want to walk away with an understanding of the

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thought process that your daughter has more than you've

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ever known before. How much would you love to know her

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thought process right? And be able to build that with her, you

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will be able to have a solid framework you can implement

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immediately to ground them in not grounding, as in punishment.

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We're talking about grounded real self esteem, not selfie

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esteem, self esteem. Okay, those are two very different things.

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We've all seen the teens and tweens that are all glum and

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melancholy, and even, you know, depressed looking. And then they

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put on this huge smile, snap a picture of themselves, and then

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they go to look at it. And as soon as they're looking at it,

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it's all glum and sad again, right? And that is not how we

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want our young women to be not at all and then have clarity

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over why decisions were made in the past. To know how you can

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help them make better decisions in the future, and have the

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tools to guide your daughter toward more joy than she has

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ever experienced before. This is for all parents that have

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children, young women between nine and 18, or on the way

Nellie Harden: 00:15:14

there, and I want to see you there. So Nellie

Nellie Harden: 00:15:17

hardin.com/ignite That is definitely where you want to go.

Nellie Harden: 00:15:22

Okay, you guys, that was a great episode today. I hope you're,

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you're young women, your children, all of your children

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go out and grab friendships and start cultivating those. And

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growing those friendships with people younger, the same age and

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older and even much older than they are, it will be a

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beautiful, beautiful thing. So next week, we will be back with

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another episode. And remember, keep teaching, keep laughing

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keep loving and above all, remember to keep showing up with

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intention in this 6570 days of the parenthood childhood

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experience, because they need you. Alright, everyone, have a

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great week.

Nellie Harden: 00:16:04

Thank you so much for listening today. And I hope you were able

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to take something from our discussion that you can use to

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build the foundation of self love leadership in your own

Nellie Harden: 00:16:13

family. If you are a parent with children, 17 or younger, and

Nellie Harden: 00:16:17

especially those around nine and up, I would love to extend an

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invitation to you to the best club in town. The family

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architects Club is a private club where intentional parents

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go that want to love support, connect or reconnect and really

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truly help guide their kids and teach them how to self lead in

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discipline and leadership. This is an online community and the

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you are welcome to it. Parenting is a project and you are the

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architects of this one. You plan you design and oversee the

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construction of the beginning of someone else's life. And that's

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what goes into these first 6570 days. And it will be the

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foundation for the rest of their lives. So come join the club.

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You can find your invitation on the front page of my website

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Nelly hardin.com. That is N E ll ie H AR d e n.com. Thank you

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again for being a part of this conversation today. And if

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something really resonated with you, or if you have a question,

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please don't hesitate to connect with me. You can find me on

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Instagram at Nelly Hardin. And lastly, if you love the

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information, please please leave a five star review and a comment

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so more and more families can be impacted by harnessing the

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strength of these ideas and tools in their own families. So

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thank you so much. Happy building you guys and I'll see