Seeing Beyond The Disabilities to the Possibilities with Guest Dr.Dawn Menge
A person is a person before they are autistic or labeled with a severe developmental delay. Dr.Dawn Menge is a teacher and author with decades of experience in the world of special needs and has spent her life helping families help their children become the best version of themselves despite the hurdles and challenges. Going to the movies, to a restaurant, making an income, and traveling and learning are all still accessible and possible and in this conversation, we dive into the resilience needed by the team of parent, child, and teacher, admin, support therapies and more. This is a must-listen for everyone because being aware, being respectful, and being informed to see people as people will only shape the world into a better place.
About the Guest:
Dr. Dawn Menge has won over forty-one International awards as the author of the Queen Vernita educational series including the Special recognition champion award from conquering disabilities with film festival. She holds a Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction, a Master's Degree and a Clear Credential in moderate/severe disabilities, and a Bachelor's Degree in human development. Dr. Menge has been teaching students with severe cognitive delays for over twenty years. She has three children and six beautiful grandchildren and lives in Southern California.
http://www.Instagram.com/dawnmenge
http://www.Facebook.com/Dawn.menge1
About the Host:
Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor.
Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live.
Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world.
She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, sets their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!
With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.
(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior and Psychology. )
LINKS:
Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault
Website- https://www.nellieharden.com
Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/
Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/
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Transcript
Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project
Nellie Harden:podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the
Nellie Harden:way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground
Nellie Harden:for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,
Nellie Harden:strength and joy. Come and hear all the discussions, get all the
Nellie Harden:tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into
Nellie Harden:the real challenges and raising kids today how to show up as
Nellie Harden:parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the
Nellie Harden:family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,
Nellie Harden:big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front
Nellie Harden:porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and
Nellie Harden:minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline
Nellie Harden:and leadership that elevate the family experience, and sets the
Nellie Harden:kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch
Nellie Harden:their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the
Nellie Harden:6570 family project. Let's go Hello, everyone. Welcome back to
Nellie Harden:another episode of the 6570 family project podcast where we
Nellie Harden:are taking the first 6570 days of our children's lives where we
Nellie Harden:are the architects and we are building the beginning of
Nellie Harden:someone else's life. And we are building it strong with a
Nellie Harden:foundation that they can take with confidence, respect and
Nellie Harden:wisdom into the rest of their lives. You guys I have a very
Nellie Harden:special guest on today. Because we live in a world of very
Nellie Harden:different people, I always say there is no such thing as
Nellie Harden:normal, right? Normal is actually just the average of all
Nellie Harden:the abnormal there's no two people, even if you have an
Nellie Harden:identical twin, there is no two people on this planet that are
Nellie Harden:exactly the same that think the same behave the same. We are all
Nellie Harden:very different from one another. And in some ways, and some
Nellie Harden:people we have families with children with severe
Nellie Harden:developmental delays, right. And we are going to be speaking to
Nellie Harden:and for those families today with Dr. Don Menge, or Dr. Don.
Nellie Harden:And she has won over 41 international awards and is the
Nellie Harden:author of an incredible series that I highly recommend you run
Nellie Harden:out and get after this. There's 13 in the series right now their
Nellie Harden:children's book called Queen Vernita is educational series.
Nellie Harden:And it is it's gotten recognitions everywhere
Nellie Harden:including special recognition champion from conquering death
Nellie Harden:disabilities Film Festival. And it really teaches families and
Nellie Harden:whether you are a family with a child with severe developmental
Nellie Harden:delays or you are a child or a family with a child that doesn't
Nellie Harden:or is just typical, abnormal, right? Then you are going to
Nellie Harden:want this series because it sees people for people first and then
Nellie Harden:diagnosis later on. And this series is so special so
Nellie Harden:beautifully illustrated, so beautifully written out that it
Nellie Harden:helps everyone understand when they see someone out in the
Nellie Harden:public that they are a person with wants and dreams and
Nellie Harden:capabilities and possibilities, just like they are no matter
Nellie Harden:what. So definitely go out and get this series after you're
Nellie Harden:done listening today. Don has a bachelor's bachelor's degree in
Nellie Harden:Human Development and she has been teaching students with
Nellie Harden:severe cognitive delays for over 20 years. She has three children
Nellie Harden:and six beautiful grandchildren and lives in the beautiful
Nellie Harden:Southern California you guys she has a PhD in Curriculum and
Nellie Harden:Instruction she is someone you are going to want to hear and
Nellie Harden:listen to, to grow your heart five sizes today. I can't wait
Nellie Harden:to get started. Let's go ahead and jump in with our discussion
Nellie Harden:with Don. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. I'm so excited to get to
Nellie Harden:talk with Dr. Don today about her work with families. And I've
Nellie Harden:told you a bit about her and the work that she does. But I first
Nellie Harden:I just want to welcome you to the podcast.
Dr. Dawn Menge:Thank you for having me.
Nellie Harden:Absolutely. I'm so excited to have you here.
Nellie Harden:fellow author and also even more importantly, the work that you
Nellie Harden:do and the message that your books can relay on to families
Nellie Harden:today. So you're obviously a leader in the work of special
Nellie Harden:needs and severe developed developmental delays with
Nellie Harden:children and families. Can you tell me what is your journey?
Nellie Harden:How did you get to the place that you are at today in helping
Nellie Harden:families?
Dr. Dawn Menge:Well, it actually started when I started
Dr. Dawn Menge:going to junior college. I worked in my mom's classroom she
Dr. Dawn Menge:was a kindergarten teacher. So I was receiving credit at the
Dr. Dawn Menge:junior college for that. And so she kind of taught me how to be
Dr. Dawn Menge:a teacher, and how to care for the students in the family. And
Dr. Dawn Menge:then when I started working in special ed, I actually started
Dr. Dawn Menge:as an assistant. And I had two amazing teachers that mentored
Dr. Dawn Menge:me. And they're the ones that kept me in here in when I'm
Dr. Dawn Menge:doing and helped me to fight for students. And I don't think if I
Dr. Dawn Menge:had not had those two mentors, as an assistant, I probably
Dr. Dawn Menge:would not have stayed. You know, most teachers leave the first
Dr. Dawn Menge:year is the hardest and five, five years, you know, or you're
Dr. Dawn Menge:lucky, if you've gone past five years, then you're doing good.
Dr. Dawn Menge:And I've been teaching for 21 years at least. And I was an
Dr. Dawn Menge:assistant for three and a half years after that. So you know,
Dr. Dawn Menge:I've hung in there and have had some momentum, oh, sorry, some
Dr. Dawn Menge:incredible experiences with my students and my parents. I was
Dr. Dawn Menge:very lucky. When I started as an assistant. And when I became a
Dr. Dawn Menge:teacher, I actually took the same students with me. And I got
Dr. Dawn Menge:two very, very great aides who had the we had the same
Dr. Dawn Menge:philosophy, and that's really important in the classroom, is
Dr. Dawn Menge:to have the same philosophies. And we got to keep the students,
Dr. Dawn Menge:our students stay until their 22nd birthday. So we went from
Dr. Dawn Menge:the junior high the elementary to the junior high to the high
Dr. Dawn Menge:school, and then we had an adult center in the community. And we
Dr. Dawn Menge:kept the same students and we had a little business and we
Dr. Dawn Menge:went everywhere, they worked in the community. We they worked in
Dr. Dawn Menge:the college, and we just had a great time until they they just
Dr. Dawn Menge:graduated and grew up.
Nellie Harden:So in the adult center, they get to stay there
Nellie Harden:until they're 22.
Unknown:Anywhere in special ed, they stay up until their 22nd
Unknown:birthday. And that could be on campus. It depends on where
Unknown:they're located as depends on their abilities.
Nellie Harden:Okay, all right. And then in the adult center,
Nellie Harden:they got to go even further than that.
Unknown:Well, they stayed until their 22nd birthday. And they
Unknown:were able to like we wrote the city bus, okay, college, and
Unknown:they took a restaurant class, they got college credit, we
Unknown:worked in probably five different businesses and the
Unknown:little town that we lived in, we made these Christmas trees out
Unknown:of hangers, oh, like Sodom and garland, and the students made
Unknown:them off. And we sold them. And so we use that to fund a lot of
Unknown:our bus trips. And we went all over the place to the beach to
Unknown:the movies. I grew up in the mountains. I live in Southern
Unknown:California, and I grew up in small town, and we got to go
Unknown:snow skiing when we were growing up. So I was teaching in the
Unknown:same district, and I wanted my students to have that same
Unknown:experience. So I got some grants. And we went snow scheme
Unknown:for about four years we did that. And if I had not had such
Unknown:a solid relationship with the parents, we would not have been
Unknown:able to do that. You know, and all of my students participated.
Unknown:The one I had some high high ones who learned how to
Unknown:snowboard. And then I had some other ones that they use, they
Unknown:call them rains, and they hooked them to the front of the skis.
Unknown:And they were guided by the ski instructors. And then there are
Unknown:other ones who have might have seizure disorders or weren't
Unknown:strong enough. They actually were in a sled. And they took
Unknown:them down in the sled. So they got to do that. And it was just
Unknown:amazing. You know, we loved it. There was one time though the
Unknown:wind was blowing. And it actually blew the chair off the
Unknown:boil that makes it go around. Oh, goodness, one of my little
Unknown:girls was on there. And so I'm standing under there, you know,
Unknown:I don't know what he's gonna do catch her. And then as
Unknown:instructors are like, you know, ma'am, you have to go with her.
Unknown:And I said, No, I'm her teacher. And I'm staying right here until
Unknown:you bring her down. And you know me, I would have been terrified,
Unknown:you know that it's swinging. And she had to get on this little
Unknown:piece of wood, sit on this little piece of wood and they
Unknown:got her down by the rope. And she was perfectly fine. And I
Unknown:would have been like hysterical, but I'm like up we're going in.
Unknown:So we've had some experiences. When we were in high school. I
Unknown:wanted to take them swimming with the dolphins because I love
Unknown:doing that. I've done that in several different places. So we
Unknown:arranged to go to SeaWorld. And my students, we had one of those
Unknown:thermometers that you see where they raise money. So we had one
Unknown:of those, and we recycled and Manna Christmas trees and all of
Unknown:this. And we actually went swimming with the dolphins and
Unknown:SeaWorld and all of the parents got to come for free. And we put
Unknown:our wetsuits on and we did that and it was amazing.
Nellie Harden:Wow, wow. And I I know that knowing the parents
Nellie Harden:and having that relationship with the parents and with the
Nellie Harden:family and that continuation of that relationship is so so so
Nellie Harden:important. Even with so my my oldest daughter when we just
Nellie Harden:were jumping around schools with her week wouldn't find quite a
Nellie Harden:right fit. And we finally found a really good fit. But it was in
Nellie Harden:a private school. And it was really expensive. And I had
Nellie Harden:three kids coming up underneath. And there was no way that we
Nellie Harden:were going to be able to sustain that. And so we did transition
Nellie Harden:to a public school. But I had a relationship with that teacher
Nellie Harden:that I knew that she was going to get that following year, for
Nellie Harden:about six, seven months before she went in. And we would talk
Nellie Harden:and we met a couple of times, and we really went over, you
Nellie Harden:know how best for Skyler my oldest to be trance transferred
Nellie Harden:or transition into a public school. And so her first year
Nellie Harden:was great. But then after that, I realized it really started
Nellie Harden:going down her experience in the public school system. And I
Nellie Harden:realized I didn't have that relationship that I had with
Nellie Harden:that first teacher. And we didn't get to talk as much. And
Nellie Harden:we didn't, she didn't get to know my child as much before she
Nellie Harden:was a student of hers, and even throughout the entire year, and
Nellie Harden:so year after year, after that, we started noticing some
Nellie Harden:declines. So anyway, that was part of the reason in our story,
Nellie Harden:why we started homeschooling seven years ago, and now she's
Nellie Harden:over in the public school for high school, and she does dual
Nellie Harden:enrollment with college. But it really was that relationship
Nellie Harden:between the parents and that communication between parents
Nellie Harden:and child, especially, I think if you have this, you know,
Nellie Harden:severe developmental delays in your family going on is
Nellie Harden:imperative. And my mom actually worked in the special education
Nellie Harden:for years after I graduated high school and left home, she
Nellie Harden:started working as an assistant in the elementary schools, which
Nellie Harden:over the course of a couple of decades ended up that she was an
Nellie Harden:assistant in the middle schools for special education for
Nellie Harden:several several years. And the stories that I would hear were
Nellie Harden:inspiring and heartbreaking depending on the family and the
Nellie Harden:communication that was going on between teacher, parent child
Nellie Harden:and that whole trio dynamic there. So with that, you know,
Nellie Harden:in the 6570 family project, when we're really focusing on these,
Nellie Harden:you know, these 6570 days, that we are the high impact, high
Nellie Harden:influence in their lives, which if they have severe
Nellie Harden:developmental delays is maybe even longer than that, and maybe
Nellie Harden:even a lifetime. But still, within that time, we're talking
Nellie Harden:about developing as a parent, as a child, helping your child
Nellie Harden:develop and as a team, which you as a teacher, as a special needs
Nellie Harden:teacher would be a part of that team as well. You were
Nellie Harden:developing, you know, vision, discipline, resilience and
Nellie Harden:vulnerability in there. And resilience, I think, is
Nellie Harden:something that I would love to hear you speak on their
Nellie Harden:resilience, from the parents perspective, from your
Nellie Harden:perspective as the teacher and also from the child and any
Nellie Harden:stories that you have in there. Because I know, it's so
Nellie Harden:imperative in order to help build that leg, the resilience.
Unknown:Sometimes the parents come in and they're just, they
Unknown:have they have nothing left. Yeah, you know, their child has
Unknown:been in the hospital, or they have severe behaviors. You know,
Unknown:it affects the families, the marriages, the the siblings, and
Unknown:sometimes the siblings get forgotten. You know, because
Unknown:they this, this power was simple Express gives me the child with
Unknown:special needs and needs so much. And so when they come to us,
Unknown:they need to understand that we're on their side, you know,
Unknown:where they're where their support system, or not, you
Unknown:know, the enemy, you know, sometimes they think the system
Unknown:itself. But we are a team, like you said, we have the teacher,
Unknown:and we have the parent, the student, there's whatever
Unknown:services are, are, there's administration, you go, you go
Unknown:to them, and you say I need this, or I don't know what to
Unknown:do. I have parents who say, I don't know what to do, you know,
Unknown:I had a little boy, he was he was actually just doing
Unknown:something teenagers as he was getting on YouTube. And she's
Unknown:like, I don't know what to do. And I said, he's, he's 12 he's
Unknown:acting like a 12 year old, it's okay. Setup overall, you know,
Unknown:do the YouTube, you know, block the YouTube, so you'll get to
Unknown:see kids and then they were fine. You know, but you have to
Unknown:remember that their children, their children who have special
Unknown:needs. So, you know, sometimes we forget that or they become so
Unknown:they look at the children get this learned helplessness, where
Unknown:they're just so engrained on doing things on their own. So
Unknown:there are a lot of the resilience and just being able
Unknown:to bounce back and to know that you know what, you're not going
Unknown:to be perfect and it's going to change from moment to moment.
Unknown:You know, I have autistic students where they're having
Unknown:severe behaviors and one one week this works and Next weekend
Unknown:doesn't work at all, you know, it, there's a lot of give and
Unknown:take, and you just have to do it from your heart. I think that's
Unknown:really, that's what keeps you going. Something I did, I was I
Unknown:just actually had a meeting today with the parent. And I
Unknown:forgot to bring the article I wanted to I was like, Oh, we did
Unknown:this. So this is one of the things we did, what we did with
Unknown:the workability, is we work for a company, a little store up
Unknown:here in the mountains, and they put tags on the winter hats. And
Unknown:so this is him doing it. And I was telling his dad, because
Unknown:he's part of the workability program. And I'm like, Oh, I
Unknown:didn't read the article to show you. But we get movie tickets,
Unknown:and we ride this community bus. And we get to go to the movies.
Unknown:So they learn all sorts of skills from this. But when I
Unknown:started, after I closed my they closed my adult center, because
Unknown:everybody grew up, then we started, I started in a whole
Unknown:new district with a whole new set of students. And they were
Unknown:lower functioning. And I was, so I was trying to get them out
Unknown:onto the campus and go to lunch and, and things and I got a lot
Unknown:of resistance from on campus, the teachers, the staff, they,
Unknown:they didn't think our students should be out of their
Unknown:classrooms. And so I would talk to the parents about what I was
Unknown:trying to teach them and why I was trying to teach them this,
Unknown:you know how to stand in line, how to go out in the community,
Unknown:oh, you're not taking my child in the community, because they
Unknown:can't take them out. You know, we took them out, and they ran
Unknown:off and said, No, we need to teach them, you know, a lot of
Unknown:the parents get to the point where they don't even take their
Unknown:child anywhere with them, they leave them at home, so they can
Unknown:run their errands. But that isn't functional, you know, that
Unknown:isn't functional for them. So it's there's a lot I think the
Unknown:resilience that comes from is just being able to be a little
Unknown:more open to what your child can do. And the resources that are
Unknown:out there and what you need to do with them.
Nellie Harden:Absolutely, and I, you talk about change, and,
Nellie Harden:you know, in parenting change happens constantly, no matter
Nellie Harden:what. And I think, especially with difficulties and challenges
Nellie Harden:like this, they the pendulum swings even further, right. And
Nellie Harden:so being okay with change being okay with you know what, in
Nellie Harden:setting those, those standards before you go out, like we're
Nellie Harden:gonna go out, and our goal is to get to the store. And to come
Nellie Harden:back, right, we're gonna get to the store, we are going to maybe
Nellie Harden:hold hands, we're going to go up and down a couple aisles, and
Nellie Harden:then we're going to come back, whether you get something and
Nellie Harden:it's productive for what you need to do, but doing these
Nellie Harden:smaller tasks, right, would be an act toward working toward
Nellie Harden:that functional life that they're looking for.
Unknown:Yes, yes. And, you know, sometimes you have to
Unknown:start really small in our and but it was just, you know, when
Unknown:when I first started and I get a new student, and I thought,
Unknown:Okay, we're gonna go do this, and they're like, No, you're not
Unknown:gonna, like, no, so they come with us. And then they get to
Unknown:see they, you know, it's like, Come Come with us, you know, so
Unknown:they show up when we're eating out, and they eat with us. And
Unknown:they get to know the staff and other students and the parents.
Unknown:And then they're like, Oh, this is okay. You know, but it's just
Unknown:such a new thing for them. Sometimes. They don't know that
Unknown:we have programs after they leave public education. There
Unknown:are programs and the programs that they get into depend on how
Unknown:much they can do and how much we can teach them while they're in
Unknown:school. So we try to push them while we get the chance. So if
Unknown:we teach if they my students go out, and they work at CVS, they
Unknown:work in Walgreens. And if they do that, they ride a community
Unknown:bus, they know how to pay, you know, they know how to give them
Unknown:the bus passes. Then when they leave us, they can go into a
Unknown:program where they can get a small paycheck. Sometimes they
Unknown:can actually we have like warehouses, where they work in
Unknown:the assemble things. And they work, it's a job, they have to
Unknown:come to work, they have to work, they have to do everything
Unknown:they're supposed to do. And if they don't, then they're out and
Unknown:another person gets to come in. So they need to learn all of
Unknown:those skills, so that they can earn their own money and we all
Unknown:take pride in earning our own our own way. You know, when we
Unknown:were trying to earn the money to go to SeaWorld, it was a lot of
Unknown:money. And there was some issues and the school board actually
Unknown:offered to pay for our trip. And I stood up in the meeting and I
Unknown:said no, my students want to earn their own money and they
Unknown:have the right to do that. And so they did they earned it all
Unknown:and they felt pride in watching you know, the thermometer go up.
Unknown:And we forget that even though someone has a special need, they
Unknown:are they're still a person first. And they have the same
Unknown:needs and wants we do they just have to sometimes go about it a
Unknown:different way.
Nellie Harden:Right? I was actually just earlier today I
Nellie Harden:was reading through an article on Instagram, and it was talking
Nellie Harden:about though this is someone that classifies herself as
Nellie Harden:autistic, and she is on the spectrum. And she was talking
Nellie Harden:about how that autistic people are not given the same freedom
Nellie Harden:to have diversity within themselves as typical, which
Nellie Harden:called neurotypical people, right? I am, I am one that I,
Nellie Harden:you know, there is no normal normal is just the average of
Nellie Harden:abnormal, you know, and so, but I do see her point, kind of what
Nellie Harden:you were saying with the teachers on campus and things
Nellie Harden:like that, like, oh, you can't bring them out of the classroom,
Nellie Harden:you can't, you know, they need to stay in this box, right? They
Nellie Harden:have, they have been diagnosed with this, even though
Nellie Harden:everything they've been diagnosed with, is all over it,
Nellie Harden:no pun intended, but all over the spectrum, right. And, and so
Nellie Harden:even though they're also different, they're being you
Nellie Harden:know, put into this little box of a classroom and stay there,
Nellie Harden:stay there nice and neat. So we don't have to worry about you,
Nellie Harden:we don't have to deal with you. And so I'm just so thankful that
Nellie Harden:there's people like you out in the world out in communities
Nellie Harden:that can truly reach in and have yourself have, you know, the
Nellie Harden:vulnerability and discipline and vision and resilience to get out
Nellie Harden:there and help these children and these families so that they
Nellie Harden:can go and lead successful functional lives. And it is a
Nellie Harden:possibility. So I'm just so thankful for that. And I want to
Nellie Harden:transition over to this wonderful book series that you
Nellie Harden:have. And this is all about Queen Vernita. And I want to
Nellie Harden:know all about her and how you are using this character to
Nellie Harden:transform families.
Unknown:Well, it actually started when I was getting my
Unknown:credential, it was an assignment in my math class. So when the
Unknown:very first one I wrote I actually had my students in it.
Unknown:And it was called Queen Victoria. And I got a grant from
Unknown:Cal Poly. And we went around to the elementary schools. And we
Unknown:did this little skits. And I would go back the next day, and
Unknown:I would explain my students behaviors, and their
Unknown:disabilities, too. We did it up to first and second grade. So
Unknown:when I decided I wanted to publish it, I then named it
Unknown:after my grandmother for Nida. And everyone in the first book
Unknown:is a member of my family, this, this is my mother, and this is
Unknown:her birthday in September. So the format is that it has 12
Unknown:months, and the Queen has 12 visitors. And then there are
Unknown:seven activities for that month. This one is the first one. It's
Unknown:pre K, this is my nephew. And so I started winning awards and
Unknown:getting interviews. And everybody's well what are you
Unknown:going to write about it? Well, I love to travel, got it from my
Unknown:grandmother and my mother. So the Queen travels around her
Unknown:kingdom and learns about the different areas. So I'm down
Unknown:publishing my 13th book. It's 170 awards so far, this summer
Unknown:won a bunch of film festival awards, and one of them was the
Unknown:conquering disabilities with Film Festival. And I won that
Unknown:because I have some of my students in my books. And this
Unknown:is Connor, and he was my student for several years. And he moved
Unknown:down from his death with to a debt, his dad's house, and
Unknown:you're having, oh my gosh, he was having a really hard time
Unknown:adjusting. And so it was pretty difficult when we first got him.
Unknown:But his dad, let me put him in the book. And he has a
Unknown:communication device because he's nonverbal. So he's teaching
Unknown:the Queen all about his communication device, and why he
Unknown:uses it. But they're also learning about the volcanic
Unknown:National Park. So in my books, the students there, I've usually
Unknown:put about two in each book. And they're just children who are
Unknown:living living their lives. Him and his dad are at the volcanic
Unknown:National Park. And he's teaching the Queen about his
Unknown:communication device. So if a child is reading this, and then
Unknown:let go, and it's just seven facts about it. And if they see
Unknown:a child on campus with a communication device, they'll
Unknown:say, okay, they're not playing video games, or how can they get
Unknown:to have theirs. It's how they're communicating. So we need to
Unknown:address the device. And even if a parent is reading this, and
Unknown:they're working in the community, and someone comes up
Unknown:with this iPad, or whatever, and they're like, you know, what are
Unknown:we doing, and then they know what to look at it and then this
Unknown:is how the child is trying to communicate with them. Are they
Unknown:adult, you know, whoever's using it. This one, this sort of girl.
Unknown:She has Rett syndrome, and her name is Ireland, and her mom's
Unknown:name is Heather. And they are making Lay's for her classmates
Unknown:and mom is helping so she's explaining Rett syndrome and why
Unknown:she has to help her daughter. But in the book, she's she's Got
Unknown:classmates and she goes to school and she wants to make
Unknown:something really beautiful for her friends. And so she's just
Unknown:the top living her life. So it helps everyone understand that.
Unknown:Again, they're just children.
Nellie Harden:That is amazing. A friend of mines daughter
Nellie Harden:actually has read and so, and I just so rare. Yes. And I didn't
Nellie Harden:know anything about it. She's McKinsey is the same age as my
Nellie Harden:oldest daughter, I think she's a little bit older. And she's just
Nellie Harden:one of the most fascinating, fascinating, almost had a little
Nellie Harden:accent there. For some reason, fascinating. Young women
Nellie Harden:Mackenzie is and I have just seen her mom and their whole
Nellie Harden:family be so strong and grow so much through the last, you know,
Nellie Harden:1516 years. And I don't know I just just watching their family
Nellie Harden:and they have a son too, who is, quote unquote, neurotypical I
Nellie Harden:guess, is, but anyway, but how he embraces life with Mackenzie
Nellie Harden:and takes care of her and what they've been able to do for her.
Nellie Harden:And she was in the hospital a lot last year with different
Nellie Harden:things. And man, I was just praying for her and everything,
Nellie Harden:and she was able to get out and she's enjoying life again. And
Nellie Harden:it's, it really is fascinating. And I would love to I can't wait
Nellie Harden:to tell their family about the about the book too. But seeing
Nellie Harden:something that is familiar in a book that you're like, oh, okay,
Nellie Harden:you know, especially if you have a classmate that comes in, I
Nellie Harden:know, when my mom was working in special education, like, she
Nellie Harden:would take her students into class for maybe 20 minutes, 30
Nellie Harden:minutes a day, you know, a typical classroom and then come
Nellie Harden:back. And a lot of those students didn't know what to
Nellie Harden:expect, or they were like, oh, goodness, here comes, you know,
Nellie Harden:the special education and who knows what's going to happen
Nellie Harden:because it can be very unpredictable, right? Sometimes.
Nellie Harden:And so if even you know, whether you have, you know, a special,
Nellie Harden:special needs child or you don't, I think books like that
Nellie Harden:are so important. So we can be able to understand a little bit
Nellie Harden:more when things come into our, into our lives, into our
Nellie Harden:classrooms, into our, you know, churches or where wherever, that
Nellie Harden:we can be more cognizant and understanding of them as a
Nellie Harden:person, not just this special needs, right there a person
Nellie Harden:before their special needs.
Unknown:Yes. Yes. And, you know, we forget that. Yeah, we
Unknown:focus on the needs that rather than others as a child, right,
Unknown:so that's what I was explaining to my parent, though, she says,
Unknown:I don't know how to raise, you know, a special needs child,
Unknown:he's, he's a child. He's doing what children do at 12. He's
Unknown:just looking things up on YouTube, you know? And so once
Unknown:we kind of got over that little hurdle, then she was perfectly
Unknown:fine. You know, she's like, okay, you know, but it can be
Unknown:overwhelming, you know? And it's like, no, yes, their children,
Unknown:they want to go skiing, they want to go swimming, you know,
Unknown:they want to go to the movies, they want to do all of that. You
Unknown:know, a lot of times we take them to the movies, and
Unknown:sometimes they've never been to the movies, their families don't
Unknown:don't take them. They don't know that they can, they can go and
Unknown:it's like yeah. And so it's it's interesting, but this one I
Unknown:wrote, this is probably my third one. And I wrote it with my
Unknown:little brother. He's an astronomer at JPL. And he wanted
Unknown:to be the professor with the hair and the as the bunny
Unknown:slippers. And it's teaching all about astronomy. But on this
Unknown:page is Jeremy and Jeremy was one of my students. And his mom
Unknown:was actually one of our teachers, and has Down syndrome.
Unknown:So Jeremy's learning about astronomy, and you're learning a
Unknown:little bit about Down syndrome. So it's just just I try not to,
Unknown:like somebody asked me once. I've actually been asked that
Unknown:quite a bit. If I'm going to write a book on special needs.
Unknown:And I'm like, no, because then it's about the special needs
Unknown:rather than a child who's living their life and learning about
Unknown:something. And it changes the focus of what it is that we're
Unknown:doing this one. This one is Jake, and has cerebral palsy.
Unknown:And he's actually the son of a friend of mine. And so he's
Unknown:learning all about astronomy, and we're learning a little bit
Unknown:about a cerebral palsy. And this is my brother with his hair. So
Unknown:that's what he wanted to be. But one time, we were doing a book
Unknown:event, then elementary school, and I read my Queenborough netus
Unknown:to probably 40 or 50, kindergarteners. And he was
Unknown:doing the third graders. So his took a little longer. So I was
Unknown:standing in the back of his performance, and he introduced
Unknown:me and who I was and this little boy spoke up and his sister had
Unknown:just passed away. And she was in one of our classes. She wasn't
Unknown:in my class, but she was in a special needs class. And so he
Unknown:started talking about it in front of everyone and We let him
Unknown:talk. And then afterwards, we gave him a set of books, and the
Unknown:teachers that that he hadn't talked for weeks, because of
Unknown:this had happened. And just because I was there, and I'm
Unknown:doing what I do in my life, he felt the connection to me. And
Unknown:he got to open up a little bit more about what had happened to
Unknown:him and his family. And that's what I tell people, if they're
Unknown:out and they're, you know, just like you, you're, you're talking
Unknown:to the public, you go with a certain thought in your head,
Unknown:this is what we're going to talk about, you know, I was going to
Unknown:read my book. So we're going to learn about calendar, well, we
Unknown:learned a whole bunch of other stuff we didn't know we were
Unknown:going to learn. And so you have to be open to that. You have to
Unknown:know what your audience is doing and what it is that they need
Unknown:from you. Sometimes it's not what you think.
Nellie Harden:I know, most say many times, it's not what you
Nellie Harden:think I have definitely learned that as a homeschooling parent.
Nellie Harden:Okay, well, before we wrap up, I definitely want to get from you
Nellie Harden:if there is any. I don't know if there's anything quick that you
Nellie Harden:can do. But any tips for either parents of special needs or just
Nellie Harden:any parent out there regarding, you know, special needs, is
Nellie Harden:there something that you can just leave our listeners with so
Nellie Harden:that they can make a small pivot this week in a direction of more
Nellie Harden:resilience or disciplines, vulnerability and understanding
Nellie Harden:anything that you want to say,
Unknown:for on the from the parents perspective, remember
Unknown:that your teacher is your support system. And if you're in
Unknown:a meeting, and it can be overwhelming, there's there
Unknown:could be 15 people there. If you don't understand what's going
Unknown:on, or you don't agree with it, you can stop that meeting and
Unknown:say, You know what, I don't want to do this right now. I want to
Unknown:think about it. It's your meeting. And if you don't
Unknown:understand what someone is saying, or you don't agree with
Unknown:them, then you tell them. If a child is acting differently at
Unknown:home than they are at school, you need to tell the teacher
Unknown:they know sometimes things are happening in the classroom, and
Unknown:we just we can't figure out what it is. And then we'll have a
Unknown:meeting. And after a while the parents say, Well, you know,
Unknown:they do this, and we're like, Okay, now we understand what
Unknown:they're doing in the classroom, you need to be more open about
Unknown:what's happening. We're not there to judge you, we're there
Unknown:to help you. So um, but
Nellie Harden:it's so important. I know, I've heard
Nellie Harden:those meetings can be, you know, very challenging, anxious,
Nellie Harden:right? I see friends of mine that post or or talk to me, and
Nellie Harden:they're like, Oh, we got the meeting next Tuesday. We'll see
Nellie Harden:how it goes. Last time, yeah,
Unknown:they shouldn't feel that way, they should have a
Unknown:good communication line with the teacher. And I do a lot of
Unknown:discussions with them usually before the meeting so that by
Unknown:the time we have the meeting, we all know what we're talking
Unknown:about, we're all on the same page. And unless something just
Unknown:comes up out of the blue or something, it's usually pretty
Unknown:open, and the parent needs to make sure that they're talking
Unknown:to the teacher, you shouldn't go into the meeting, feeling
Unknown:anxious, it is overwhelming. You've got all these
Unknown:professionals in there saying all this stuff about your child.
Unknown:And it's like, but it's your child. Exactly. expert on your
Unknown:child. So,
Nellie Harden:right. And it's easy to feel like oh, you know,
Nellie Harden:they must know more about this than I do. Especially if you're
Nellie Harden:going in going I don't know what to do. But you are so right, you
Nellie Harden:are the expert on your child. And that is your role as parent.
Nellie Harden:So thank you so much for being here and bringing awareness to
Nellie Harden:this. Thank you so much for the books. I think those are
Nellie Harden:priceless. And I can't wait to have all of our listeners go out
Nellie Harden:and take a look at them and share them and share them with
Nellie Harden:the world around them. Because I love your approach to them. And
Nellie Harden:I totally agree you don't want to do a book on special needs.
Nellie Harden:But it's about people living with special needs in the world
Nellie Harden:and experiencing the world. So thank you so much for the work
Nellie Harden:that you do for the love that you have. And for the pivots
Nellie Harden:that you are making and all of these families lives and all of
Nellie Harden:our listeners today. Oh, thank
Unknown:you for letting me talk. Absolutely.
Nellie Harden:Well, thank you so much, and for all of our
Nellie Harden:listeners. Thank you again for listening to another episode of
Nellie Harden:the 6570 family project podcast where we are building the
Nellie Harden:foundations for ourselves, our kids futures and our family as a
Nellie Harden:whole. Have a great day and I will see you next week. Thank
Nellie Harden:you so much for listening today and I hope you were able to take
Nellie Harden:something from our discussion that you can use to build the
Nellie Harden:foundation of selfless leadership in your own family.
Nellie Harden:If you are a parent with children 17 or younger, and
Nellie Harden:especially those around nine and up, I would love to extend an
Nellie Harden:invitation to you to the best club in town. The family
Nellie Harden:architects Club is a private club where intentional parents
Nellie Harden:go that want to love support, connect or reconnect and really
Nellie Harden:truly help guide their kids and teach them how to self leave in
Nellie Harden:discipline and leadership. This is an online community and the
Nellie Harden:you are welcome to it. Parenting is a project and you are the
Nellie Harden:architect of this one. You plan you design and oversee the
Nellie Harden:construction of the beginning of someone else's life. And that's
Nellie Harden:what goes into these first 6570 days, and it will be the
Nellie Harden:foundation for the rest of their lives. So come join the club,
Nellie Harden:you can find your invitation on the front page of my website
Nellie Harden:Nelly hardin.com. That is N E ll ie H AR d e n.com. Thank you
Nellie Harden:again for being a part of this conversation today. And if
Nellie Harden:something really resonated with you, or if you have a question,
Nellie Harden:please don't hesitate to connect with me. You can find me on
Nellie Harden:Instagram at Nelly Hardin. And lastly, if you love the
Nellie Harden:information, please please leave a five star review and a comment
Nellie Harden:so more and more families can be impacted by harnessing the
Nellie Harden:strength of these ideas and tools in their own families. So
Nellie Harden:thank you so much. Happy building you guys and I'll see
