2022 Is Coming! What’s The Plan? - Family Goal Planning Guide

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

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podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

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way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the

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tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into

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the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

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big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

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minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

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and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the

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kids up with a rock solid foundation they can launch their

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life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570

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family project. Let's go

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Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the 6570

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family project podcast. You guys. It is deep into the

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holiday season right now for you when this is coming out. I'm a

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little further back right now. This is being recorded in

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November. But I know when we are coming out we are super deep

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into the holiday season. So I hope you've been having a good

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time. I hope you've been having safe travels. I hope all of

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those extended family get togethers have been joyous or at

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least as joyous as they can be. Next week, I'm going to come to

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you with some information on repairing some of those

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repairing yourself after those. So stay tuned for next week's

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episode. But today, you guys, I always take this time of year,

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this last couple of weeks of a year, and wrap up the year that

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I've been in and really start to put together the year that I am

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going into. I don't know if that's something you do to some

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people do it at the beginning of the next year. For me, I just

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like to take advantage of every single second of a year. And so

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I like to do it beforehand. So I'm already when the year comes

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about, but we are all different. But the the facts, you know,

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stay the same that we are transitioning from one year to

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another now, is the time actually different? No, right?

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You're still gonna wake up on January 1, as you did December

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31, and so on. But mentally, it is a shift, it's a perspective

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shift, we are going from 2021 to 2022, which is a mouthful to say

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Can I just say that for a second.

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So mentally, it is different. And we know through the work

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that we've done here, through the work of so many that have

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come before us that it really is our perspectives that tell what

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our truth is. And so if your perspective, if you're mentally

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changing and transitioning from one year to another, then that

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is a step. It's a doorway that you're going through. And that

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means that we're going to have some different perspectives,

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different goals than we are and goal. Goal making and creating

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and achieving is something that many, many, many people do at a

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year change, including myself, I also do it at my own year

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changes, right my birthday decade changes when I go from my

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30s to my 40s, my 40s to my 50s and etc, hopefully my 80s to my

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90s One day, whatever that looks like. But I have different goals

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when these transitions happen. And I want to walk you through

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some really good practices for doing goals. So it's not just

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haphazard and then they fall apart on January 10. Right? I

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want to help you make some really concrete goals not only

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for yourself, but also what it looks like to walk forward with

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some family goals. And if you listened to the podcast with

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Elaine Mason, I believe it was episode 11. We walked through a

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little bit of that in what she does with her family to it was

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really powerful. So I encourage encourage you to go back and

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listen to that. But let's talk a little bit about this new year

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goal making and the 6570. Right that's how many days are in 18

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years. This is our runway, that our training zone for us parents

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to teach our kids it's their runway to adulthood. And we are

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the architects of that time. So if we are going to build smart,

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right we're going to build smart we're going to plan smart we're

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going to design smart in order to give them all of these

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experience and help them develop these self led discipline and

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leadership skills before they leave home. So they're not

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leaving home still in the parent lead discipline realm. Right,

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then there's some things we could do here. Now we've heard

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about smart goals before. Let me just remind you real quick, so

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they are specific. They're measurable. That's always a

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sticking point for many goals. They're attainable, though. But

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also, not just attainable, like, Yep, I could do that. It's like

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looking at a pool and saying, Okay, I'm going to give myself a

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goal of swimming one lap right. Now. For some that is the be hag

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the big, hairy, audacious goal. But for many people swimming one

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lap, it's like, oh, I can for sure do that. That's an easy box

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to check. So we want it to be attainable, but not an easy box

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to check, right? We need to stretch ourselves outside of the

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comfort zone a little bit, because that's where growth

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happens. So attainable is a relevant, right? Is it actually

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moving you toward your goals? Is it moving in synchronous in

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synchronicity with your values, we'll talk about that in a

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second. And time bound, of course, it's going to be time

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bound, we're talking about a year here, so but you might be

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breaking it down even further. I personally love to I look at the

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year, but then I break it into quarters. Because if I say I'm

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going to give myself a whole year to do you know, whatever an

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activity, whatever this activity is, I am going to wait until

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September, October and be like, Oh, my goodness, yeah, I need to

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do that. Or most likely forget about it by September or

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October, and then it never gets done. So I were I look at the

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whole year, break it down into quarters, and then I only have

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three goals per quarter. And then I break those down into the

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months that I'm doing and always make sure I'm focused toward

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that those three goals in whatever I'm doing every day,

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right, that's relevant. It's time bound. It's attainable, but

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it stretches me. It's measurable. They're very

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specific. Okay, so I love the idea of really looking at this

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space. So if you look back on all the years that you've been

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alive, I was born in 1978, which seems forever ago and yesterday

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at the same time. And so when I look back at 1987, right, I'm

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like, What did I leave in? 1987? What did I do with 1987? Right?

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I was in? I guess I was in elementary at that time.

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Going into adulthood, I think about the year I don't know,

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2002? What did I do in 2002? What did I leave there, right?

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And so when you're thinking about this year coming up, what

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do you want to leave in the space of 2022, it will come and

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it will go. And you get to choose what to put in its place

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in your life and your family's life. So that when you're

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looking back, you could say this is what was in the place of

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2022. Right? It's not just this ambiguous time that's rolling by

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there's purpose and intention, especially when we're in our

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6570 that we get to put there and and intentionally build

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toward that year, what are we going to leave in the space of

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2022? Okay, so there's really three things I want to go over

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here. And it's, we want to start with the values. Okay, I told

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you, I'd talk about values a little bit. So you're going to

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have personal values and family values. And the family values

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are really something that you want to talk about with your

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family, your personal values you could talk about with yourself,

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and you can have some, you know, good journal talks with yourself

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in there or what have you. But there is beautiful, you know,

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values out there, there's concrete values, there's, you

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know, harsh values, there's very, very truthful values,

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there's all these values out there. And you can literally

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just, you know, Google a values list. And really look through

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those. I know Brene Brown has a great one,

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just off the top of my head, but you can look through those and

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say which ones really define me and just circle all the ones

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that do and then take that list. I don't know, maybe you have

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eight to 10 of them, let's say and you want to say okay, out of

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these eight to 10 which are the most important to me, right? And

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which one of these kind of fit into another one for me? So I'll

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give you an example. My personal values my personal life values

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are wisdom, love and integrity. Okay, so family, for example,

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family is a value and it's very, very, very important to me, but

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Val family for me, fits underneath wisdom, love and

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integrity, okay, I need to have integrity with my family, I need

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to be able to love and share love with my family. And I need

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to have wisdom to lead my family. So that's what I mean

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about, you know, find out what they are and what kind of fits

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into one another. Because I really want you to focus in on

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two, maximum three values that you know, and you can just

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rattle off like that, right? These are my life values for

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your family, they might be things like, you know, for ours,

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our connection, courage and self led leadership. So connection,

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courage and self led leadership is our family values, and

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everything else falls under that or isn't as important as those

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things. But those things are our ultimate most important. And you

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would say, well, where's love in there? Well, love for us is

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under courage, right? Having the courage to love somebody that

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takes vulnerability that takes being able to use your patience,

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right? Connection is certainly, or love is certainly a part of

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connection, and then that leadership, right leading with

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love. So that's where that comes in. So just to give you some

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examples there, but my point is, your goals have to start with a

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foundation of where your values are coming from. Okay? Now, the

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second thing that you're going to do after you figured out your

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personal and your family values, the second thing you're going to

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do is write out your goals, right, have a great family

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planning session. I know some families that go away for the,

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you know, for a weekend and have this and, you know, figure this

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out sitting mountainside and some beautiful villa or what

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have you, or you could do in your living room, whatever. But

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talk about the year that has gone by, right. Hopefully you

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had some goals for this year. And if you didn't, you're

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starting a new tradition. And that's cool. My family does this

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every single year. And it is so fun. We've been doing this for

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years now. And I love looking back, I have the you know, we

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give little sheets of paper and things like that. And I love

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looking back on. What were my daughter's goals for the next

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year when she was six. Right? It was like, I really want to get a

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cartwheel, right. You know, things like that. It's so fun to

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look back on. But talk about the year past, you know, what did

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you love about it? What goals did you accomplish if you did

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have goals? But definitely what did you love about it? What

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didn't you like so much about it, and how you will be able to

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pivot in 2022 in order to make those things better. Okay, so

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that's what we want to start off with with this number two, and

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then really start dissecting what your goals are going to be

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for 2022. And you're going to have personal and you're going

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to have family and if it applies, you're going to have

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business as well. So you want your personal goals, your

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physical. Yeah, I'm sorry, your personal your family and your

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business. Now for personal and family. I really love to break

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it down into physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So

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physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And you can have that

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I want to give you some examples in here because I want this to

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be very concrete in your head and not just a Yeah, sure that

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sounds fun. So personal for me. Just to give you some examples

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that I thought of physical would be I have a peloton. So getting

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on my peloton every single day doing some sort of movement

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every single day. I know that my mind my body, my schedule, my

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attitude, everything works better if my mind if my body has

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moved that day. And so for physical, doing something on the

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peloton every single day, for mental, I want to keep a

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schedule that isn't balanced with my values. And remember,

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we're always keeping in tune with those values. If we follow

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the SMART goals up there, we want it to be relevant that's

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relevant to your values too. And so for me that is keeping a

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balanced schedule. So I am making sure that I am being wise

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I am making sure that I am being loving and really honoring the

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love of others. And I am making sure I'm staying in my integrity

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with my work my school, my personal life, my family life,

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my serving life, all of it. Okay. And emotionally, that

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looks like journaling. It looks like going on dates with my

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husband. It looks like having one on one kid time every single

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week. It looks like making sure we're carving out that family

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time every single day. Right? These things are measurable

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things that you can check the box on, and it's a yes or no

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black or white. You want that to be measurable. Okay. So the

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outcome of one One time with my kids is not check the box

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measurable, but the action is check the box measurable. Okay?

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Does that make sense? Okay, and then spiritual for me, I have

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quiet time, every single morning, my morning routine is

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rock solid for me, if I don't have it, then I need to, like

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keep rebalancing myself every day and it gets a little hairy

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sometimes. So having that morning routine in that morning,

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quiet time doing some meditation. For me that looks

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like getting into the Bible and doing some study, whatever that

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looks like for you for your spiritual walk. But that's what

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I mean by getting specific and measurable and attainable,

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relevant and time bound in your goals. And then you could do the

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same thing for your family. And you go through physical, mental,

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emotional, spiritual, for your family. Now for your business,

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if you do have a business or a side, side hustle that you're

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doing, then you may or may not, it depends on what is applicable

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to you, you might not have physical or spiritual in there,

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but you're gonna have a mental and emotional for sure. And

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because we all know, especially the journey of being an

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entrepreneur is very, very emotional, right? I know you I

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see and feel so many heads nodding right now. So anyway,

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and breaking that down into q1, two, three and four is very

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important. So that's what you want to do. And your second

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thing. So remember, number one is you want to find your values.

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So, so so important to ground you and guide you and what the

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the, the goals will be. And then number two, you're going to

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reflect on the last year, and you're going to develop a plan

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the next year coming up. Okay, so reflecting on the last one,

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and designing and planning the one that is coming up looking at

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physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, for yourself and for

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your family. And if you have a business doing that, always

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keeping in mind to keep these goals smart, right? But you

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definitely want it to be measurable, because what happens

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if it's not measurable? What happens if your goal is

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I just want to have a better relationship with my, with my

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spouse, okay, well, then, you're just going to go along like and

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ask yourself, well, am I having a better relationship? Am I not?

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I don't know, maybe. And then it's just so ambiguous, it's

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such a cloud, there's no action to be put toward it, that it

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falls by the wayside, and it never gets done. And so that's

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why it's so so important to actually have action steps have

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it be measurable. Check the box, check the box, double, there we

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go. Check the box double. So that you know if you've worked

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toward your goal or not. Okay. All right. And number three, you

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guys is find the help to get there. Find a coach, find a

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mentor, or hopefully both. I prefer a coach mentors, and why

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you're like, Okay, what's the difference there? Well, a coach

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is going to be someone that teaches you the skill sets the

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the mindsets, and gives you the information, right. And then a

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mentor is going to take that information and help you

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implement it into your unique and specific life. And so that

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that's why I do both in my you know, I I actually was doing

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some website work last night, and I'm like I am a my full

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title is life and leadership coach and mentor. But that is

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such a mouthful and so crazy. So I just do family life and

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leadership coach. Because I mean, I don't think that I don't

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think my desk is big enough to have that whole name. Not that I

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have a title on my desk. But it's just such a mouthful. So I

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say family life and leadership coach, but it really is coaching

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and mentoring because I want to help you get the information.

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And I also want to help you implemented into your unique

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family, your unique self and so you can develop your road to

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your unique destination that you want your family to go in. But,

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um so we have many options coming up that I just want to go

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over we have the Family Leadership Academy, which is our

Nellie Harden: 00:19:33

deep dive programs so amazing, highly, highly, highly recommend

Nellie Harden: 00:19:37

for every family to go through at least once in their childhood

Nellie Harden: 00:19:42

parenthood 6570 experience and that is the next group is

Nellie Harden: 00:19:49

starting in January. And then if you can't do like a bigger time

Nellie Harden: 00:19:54

commitment, then there's a VIP day you guys. I'm just going to

Nellie Harden: 00:19:58

sit down with you guys and I'm going to Say, Okay, this is what

Nellie Harden: 00:20:02

this is what we want to go through today, we are going to

Nellie Harden: 00:20:04

go through goal planning, we're going to go through how to get

Nellie Harden: 00:20:08

to the goals that you're doing. We're going to talk about

Nellie Harden: 00:20:10

communication, I'm going to give you an action plan, I'm going to

Nellie Harden: 00:20:13

give you a implementation plan, and we're going to go from

Nellie Harden: 00:20:16

there. So that is such a valuable, valuable day. So and

Nellie Harden: 00:20:21

then there's the Ignite your inner leader masterclass that is

Nellie Harden: 00:20:25

available to you through the website that is so powerful the

Nellie Harden: 00:20:29

discipline hacker collection, the podcast that you're

Nellie Harden: 00:20:32

obviously listening to, but make sure a great actionable item for

Nellie Harden: 00:20:36

you personally, or your family would be to listen to this

Nellie Harden: 00:20:39

podcast every single week in 2022, I promise I'm going to be

Nellie Harden: 00:20:44

there. And you can be there to listen, this is a great action

Nellie Harden: 00:20:48

step that can that's measurable and can help you develop your

Nellie Harden: 00:20:52

family through 2022. And then the family architects club, our

Nellie Harden: 00:20:57

online community, so amazing, we get on there. And we have

Nellie Harden: 00:21:01

massive discussions. There's such big changes that are

Nellie Harden: 00:21:04

happening in the world. And it's only going to change faster and

Nellie Harden: 00:21:08

bigger. As we go along. Especially when we have a

Nellie Harden: 00:21:11

literal universe, a new universe, the metaverse that is

Nellie Harden: 00:21:15

coming very fast, it's already being marketed every single day.

Nellie Harden: 00:21:20

This is supposedly something that won't be in our hands, in

Nellie Harden: 00:21:24

the capacity that they're talking about until five to

Nellie Harden: 00:21:27

seven years. But I literally get advertisements for it every

Nellie Harden: 00:21:31

single day today, which means your kids are going to be seeing

Nellie Harden: 00:21:34

those two. And so we have so much to discuss and the

Nellie Harden: 00:21:37

community is there for you. So you guys, there it is, it's as

Nellie Harden: 00:21:41

easy as 123. Number one, find your values number two, reflect

Nellie Harden: 00:21:46

and design. And number three, find the coaches and mentors to

Nellie Harden: 00:21:50

get you there. And I would love to help you out with that the

Nellie Harden: 00:21:54

6570 team is always here and ready to help and grow you and

Nellie Harden: 00:21:59

your family toward that self led leadership. So they are equipped

Nellie Harden: 00:22:03

with their greatness and for their greatness before they ever

Nellie Harden: 00:22:06

leave home. You guys 2022 is going to be a great year. How do

Nellie Harden: 00:22:11

I know that? How do I know a bunch of catastrophes aren't

Nellie Harden: 00:22:14

going to happen?

Nellie Harden: 00:22:15

I don't. But I do know that my decision is that 2022 is going

Nellie Harden: 00:22:21

to be a great year for myself and for my family. And that is

Nellie Harden: 00:22:26

what we are going to make of it and we are going to leave some

Nellie Harden: 00:22:28

amazing things in the space of 2022. By the time we are done

Nellie Harden: 00:22:33

with it. Okay, you guys, whatever happens, remember, it

Nellie Harden: 00:22:36

is up to you, you are the architect you are planning and

Nellie Harden: 00:22:39

designing your family you are planning and designing the

Nellie Harden: 00:22:42

beginning of your child's life. And that is their foundation

Nellie Harden: 00:22:46

that they will launch from lean on and stand on for the rest of

Nellie Harden: 00:22:50

their lives. Happy building. You guys enjoy your holidays. I'm

Nellie Harden: 00:22:56

sure you have been already whatever holidays you celebrate.

Nellie Harden: 00:22:59

And I just wish you a wonderful week and I will talk to you next

Nellie Harden: 00:23:05

week. All right, bye, guys. Thank you so much for listening

Nellie Harden: 00:23:12

today. And I hope you were able to take something from our

Nellie Harden: 00:23:14

discussion that you can use to build the foundation of self led

Nellie Harden: 00:23:18

leadership in your own family. If you are a parent with

Nellie Harden: 00:23:22

children 17 or younger, and especially those around nine and

Nellie Harden: 00:23:26

up, I would love to extend an invitation to you to the best

Nellie Harden: 00:23:30

club in town. The family architects Club is a private

Nellie Harden: 00:23:35

club where intentional parents go that want to love support,

Nellie Harden: 00:23:39

connect or reconnect and really truly help guide their kids and

Nellie Harden: 00:23:44

teach them how to self lead in discipline and leadership. This

Nellie Harden: 00:23:48

is an online community and the you are welcome to it. Parenting

Nellie Harden: 00:23:53

is a project and you are the architect of this one. You plan

Nellie Harden: 00:23:57

you design and oversee the construction of the beginning of

Nellie Harden: 00:24:00

someone else's life. And that's what goes into these first 6570

Nellie Harden: 00:24:06

days. And it will be the foundation for the rest of their

Nellie Harden: 00:24:09

lives. So come join the club. You can find your invitation on

Nellie Harden: 00:24:13

the front page of my website Nelly hardened.com. That is N E

Nellie Harden: 00:24:18

ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you again for being a part of this

Nellie Harden: 00:24:24

conversation today. And if something really resonated with

Nellie Harden: 00:24:27

you, or if you have a question, please don't hesitate to connect

Nellie Harden: 00:24:30

with me. You can find me on Instagram at Nellie Hardin. And

Nellie Harden: 00:24:33

lastly, if you love the information, please please leave

Nellie Harden: 00:24:37

a five star review and a comment so more and more families can be

Nellie Harden: 00:24:42

impacted by harnessing the strength of these ideas and

Nellie Harden: 00:24:44

tools in their own families. So thank you so much. Happy

Nellie Harden: 00:24:49

building you guys and I'll see you next week.