Bring Dinner Time to Life with Guest Linda Lederman

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

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podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

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way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the

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tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into

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the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

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big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

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minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

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and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the

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kids up with a rock solid foundation they can launch their

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life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570

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family project. Let's go

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Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the 6570 family

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project podcast. You guys I have got a gem for you today. I'm so

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excited to welcome Linda Letterman to our community

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today. And I'm going to get her on in just a second. But you

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guys she is a kitchen confidence coach. I didn't even know those

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existed. I know I could definitely use one. I tend to

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just eat raw because honestly, what is the the meme? I ain't

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got time for that. Right? But she brings so much truth and

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honesty and fun to the conversation not just about what

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you're making in the kitchen, but what you're doing with it

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right at the dinner table. I can't wait for you to listen to

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her. You guys. She specializes in meal planning and prep and

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cooking recipe development and fun family dinner conversations.

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You're gonna love it. Her story is so funny, and you'll hear her

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talk a little bit more about it. But she was actually so bad at

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cooking that her own family banned her when she was a

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teenager. And happily, her skills have dramatically

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improved and she now has over 1000 cookbooks. Every time I

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hear something like that I'm like where do you put them all

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right, but she has over 1000 cookbooks. She is a graduate of

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a prestigious cooking school and the Institute of Integrative

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Nutrition and has countless cooking courses through the

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International Culinary Center and national gourmet Institute

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under her belt. She is like I said a kitchen confidence coach

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and the owner of get this fun name. Bella boost does secret

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where she helps busy moms with meal planning prep and cooking

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lessons as well as coaching them on how to serve the delicious

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dinners with side dishes of games, clever conversations with

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their family. So many great gems you are going to get out of this

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you guys. It is stress free cooking, maximum flavor, fun and

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just yum factor, which I could always do with some fun and

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young factor myself. So without further ado, let's go ahead and

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get started. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the 6570 family

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project Podcast. I'm so excited to have this incredible guest on

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today. Linda Letterman. She is so amazing. I know I already

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told you all about her. But welcome to the show, Linda.

Linda Lederman: 00:03:43

Oh, thanks so much. I'm thrilled to be here.

Linda Lederman: 00:03:45

Oh, yay.

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Well, you guys like I said before she is a

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foodie right. And then all the absolutely confidence. I love

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those words together because frankly, I don't have very much

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kitchen confidence. My kids have a lot more than I do. So I often

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snack off of their creations and I wish I had a little bit more

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of that myself. But we you know the kitchen is the main focus of

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so many homes so many families I know it is for us even though I

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will you know probably raw broccoli before I make anything.

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But my kids make a lot of stuff. And but we still we hang out in

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the kitchen. And that's where a lot of our dance parties and you

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know a lot of our conversations, all of the stuff at the end of

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the day. It always starts and ends in the kitchen. So tell me

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a little bit Linda. So you're obviously a food and family

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leader when it comes to this space. Can you tell me kind of

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your road in order to get here and how did this all transpire

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for you?

Unknown: 00:04:47

Absolutely. When I started my cooking career, I was

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in high school and did not start off very well. I told my mom she

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was the most boring cook I had ever met. And she was I mean

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there was It wasn't debatable. I probably have that title. Right?

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Okay, smart out, you know what you're gonna do better. And she

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bought me at the time, a book called The Joy of Cooking, which

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is huge, almost like an encyclopedia of recipes, but no

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pictures, which was really a drawback. And she said, once a

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week, you're gonna pick a recipe, tell me the ingredients

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we need. I'll get them for you. And you cook, you think you can

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do better? You're on. So now the pressure was there because I had

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to do something that wasn't boring. And I knew nothing,

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literally nothing about cooking, because my mom wasn't really

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very good teacher. So I would pick out what I would think

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would be the most exotic recipes. And the first one I

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tried was something called Swedish meatballs. What on earth

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do I know from Swedish meatballs? I know nothing.

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That's my favorite dish.

Unknown: 00:05:50

No kidding. It is. I'm gonna take lesson for you on

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this one. So I said, Okay, I'm gonna make Swedish meatballs.

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Well, needless to say, it came out awful. I made a huge mess in

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the kitchen. And I had no idea what I was doing. And my family

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tried to be tolerant, tried to be nice, but you know that we're

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gonna go out and eat ice cream or something afterwards to fill

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themselves up. So the next week, I said, All right, I'll do

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something else. And I tried veal cord on blue. I don't know what

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it was. I didn't even know how to say it. I still don't know

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how to say it. But it sounded different. So I was gonna try

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it. Well, the reviews were even worse. By the third week when I

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was making dinner, my family said enough. You are now

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officially banned from making dinner. And that's how my

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cooking career started. I was banned from cooking in my house.

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I'm not wanting to take no for an answer. So to me, I viewed it

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as a game on now I have to be really good at this. And so I

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studied cookbooks, I went to cooking classes. In between, I

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became a lawyer and had a very different career. But during

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that time, I really want to improve my cooking. And my

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parents were great entertainers. They didn't always cook the

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food. But always, always, always had people at the house. It was

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filled with laughter and camaraderie. And to me, that's

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the way a house should be. And so I really wanted to recreate

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that I didn't have the wherewithal to have things

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catered. So I had to learn how to cook. And I did take all

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kinds of lessons. And I got to be not to be modest or immodest,

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but I got to be really good at it. When I had kids, um, you

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know, you'd go to after school activities, kids would come to

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your house and have dinner or we'd have sleepovers. And we'd

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have homemade dinners. We play games at the dinner table. And

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their friends would say, My mom doesn't do this. We don't we

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don't have food like this. We don't have fun at the dinner

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table. You know, we're eating a Subway sandwich in the car going

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to the next Soccer Soccer game. And it occurred to me that

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that's not really the way things should be. And there's a lot of

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studies that talk about the importance of family meal time,

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and how your kids do better in school, they're better

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socialized, and less likely to abuse drugs. I mean, the list is

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tremendous. And I said, you know, I think there's a real

Unknown: 00:08:08

need here. And so my business is valuables to secret kitchen

Unknown: 00:08:12

confidence coach blossomed.

Nellie Harden: 00:08:15

So where does that name come from? I love it.

Nellie Harden: 00:08:18

So Bella

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booster is an old fashioned Yiddish term. And it

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means a woman who makes a fine home. And my definition of a

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fine home is the anti Martha Stewart, I you know, you have to

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be able to put your feet up, you have to be able to eat with your

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finger sometimes. But you want your guests to be comfortable

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you want them to be you want that laughter in your house, you

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want that conversation, you want that abundance of warmth, and

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camaraderie. And to me, that's what a good home is. So I teach

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people the secrets and how to do that with ease and speed. And a

Unknown: 00:08:52

whole lot of human fun.

Nellie Harden: 00:08:54

Oh, I love that. So when it comes to your own

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kids, and before we started recording, we're talking so you

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have two kids that are both teens, right? Yes. Okay. So when

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it comes to them and your family home, how has this kind of

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transpired and and made a new generation of what food is and

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what kitchen time is for the next generation?

Unknown: 00:09:20

You know? That's a great question. Because one of

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the reasons I do what I do is, I think it's so important for you

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as an individual to learn this skill so you can provide this

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for your family. But while you do that, you're modeling it for

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your family, so they'll know how to recreate it for theirs. And

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if you're giving your family just fast food and takeout and

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frozen food, where are they learning the skills where are

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they what do they see is the right way to feed their family

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or even themselves as they grow up. So I have always

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incorporated my kids and my cooking since they could stand

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on a stool to reach accountant and I'm at this point I had my

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daughter who is 16 is enrolled in a culinary program in high

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school. And my son is a wrestler, and he likes to make a

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lot of his meals because obviously, weight is a very

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important factor when you're a wrestler, and he's learned all

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about nutrition. And he makes dinners for us in the kitchen.

Unknown: 00:10:22

And so it's really a wonderful family affair.

Nellie Harden: 00:10:26

Oh, I love that. So it's interesting. So with

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with myself, it was just my mom and I growing up and then so it

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was like the frozen dinners, right and choosing a mama's you

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know, all we could do McDonald's, Denny's, and frozen

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Salsbury steak like those and Oh, mac and cheese. Can't forget

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the mac and cheese like those were my staples, and I still

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crave those today. Sometimes even though so I've been a

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vegetarian since 1996. I still sometimes crave frozen cells

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very stick with those like dice cubed, or those tiny cube

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dungeons on top. It's so funny. But anyway, when I had kids,

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then I really had no idea what to do with food. And I just tend

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to eat raw a lot of time, just raw veggies and things like

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that. But my kids I homeschooled them. I still am. I'm in my

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seventh year now. And my oldest was with us for four years. And

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then I still have the three youngest at home now. And when

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they they have to take care of their own lunches they always

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have since day one. And so they just got really creative. And

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they started just getting recipes. And they would just

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grab things. And sometimes those concoctions work and sometimes

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they don't but I think it's so cool that they can they've just

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been able to have free reign over the kitchen. And whatever

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you want to do do Just please don't set it on fire. I've been

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through one kitchen fire before when I was little, which might

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be why we did frozen cells very steaks, I don't know. But yeah,

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just giving them free rein over that has exploded their create

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their food creativity. You know, especially a couple of them. My

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16 year old one of my 14 year olds, they make these elaborate

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dishes. And they're like got like three burners going or what

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have you. And I'm like, What are you doing? And they're like, Oh,

Nellie Harden: 00:12:20

I'm we're just making this or I'm just doing this? And I'm

Nellie Harden: 00:12:22

like, great. Can I have some

Unknown: 00:12:28

you want your kids to have those skills. And a lot of

Unknown: 00:12:32

the women that I work with say that their kids are picky

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eaters. And one of the things that I suggest is, well take

Unknown: 00:12:39

your kids grocery shopping and have them pick out something and

Unknown: 00:12:43

get them invest in what the meal is going to be. And if the meal

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flops, and we all have had meals that tanked Sure. I don't say

Unknown: 00:12:52

Oh, I'm sorry, that was terrible. I'm a horrible cook. I

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say things like, Okay, would you rate this a thumbs up or thumbs

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down? And if it's a thumbs down or thumbs in the middle of say,

Unknown: 00:13:02

Okay, well, what should I do differently next time when I

Unknown: 00:13:06

make it, so I'm not giving up? I'm not telling them Okay, you

Unknown: 00:13:10

win. I'll never make broccoli again. I'm making them think

Unknown: 00:13:13

about what tastes they like, right, what tastes they don't

Unknown: 00:13:16

like, and I get them thinking in a very creative way. And it

Unknown: 00:13:21

helps me out how to make a meal that they might like better next

Unknown: 00:13:25

time.

Nellie Harden: 00:13:26

Yeah, absolutely. And food is so it's so cultural.

Nellie Harden: 00:13:31

It is so socio economic to you know, it's so funny because I

Nellie Harden: 00:13:38

don't I grew up in, you know, just with my salisbury steak and

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Kraft mac and cheese. And then today as an adult to go out with

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some friends that might have had a higher socio socio economic

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state or whatever, and they're eating fancy food. And I'm like,

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I don't even know what I'm eating what this fancy food is.

Nellie Harden: 00:13:58

And it's like, got a little drizzle on it. And I'm like, I

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Where's my food, food, you know, and it's just so funny, but it's

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worth always exploring, right? Because you never know if

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there's going to be something there that you love. So, anyway,

Nellie Harden: 00:14:12

I just I find that I find food so fascinating in so many

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different regards. spiciness, non spiciness, you know, you're

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going past a house and you're like, Whoa, that smells good. I

Nellie Harden: 00:14:25

wonder what's in there, you know?

Unknown: 00:14:27

And I actually stopped and it's interesting. You said

Unknown: 00:14:30

that you're a vegetarian. I don't eat meat. I eat fish, but

Unknown: 00:14:34

I don't eat me. But my family eats meat. They eat every thing

Unknown: 00:14:38

under the sun. I have somebody in my family who's gluten free

Unknown: 00:14:42

somebody who's lactose intolerant all over the board.

Unknown: 00:14:45

And I don't need 50 Different dinners at night cooks. I don't

Unknown: 00:14:48

really believe in that. But if you learn how to use your

Unknown: 00:14:51

flavors, and you ask people, even if you're in a restaurant,

Unknown: 00:14:55

you can say, Wow, can you tell me as a chef how he made that or

Unknown: 00:14:58

what he put in it? So you start getting familiar of ingredients.

Unknown: 00:15:01

Or if you're traveling to a different location, whether it's

Unknown: 00:15:05

another country or another part of this country, go into markets

Unknown: 00:15:09

that you're not familiar with, you can ask a butcher, you can

Unknown: 00:15:12

ask the fruit monger. Now, tell me something here, that's

Unknown: 00:15:15

unusual. And what would you do with it? You go to a farmers

Unknown: 00:15:18

market, I do it all the time and say, What is this? And how would

Unknown: 00:15:20

I cook it? Yeah. And that's how you can easily expand your

Unknown: 00:15:23

repertoire from people who actually know what they're

Unknown: 00:15:25

doing.

Nellie Harden: 00:15:26

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And that goes along

Nellie Harden: 00:15:29

with. So in the 6570. Family Project, we really talked about

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the one thing being self discipline leadership. And that

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comes down to discipline of vulnerability, having vision,

Nellie Harden: 00:15:44

right and building resilience in there. And it really is kind of

Nellie Harden: 00:15:48

the one umbrella for everything we need in life. And that

Nellie Harden: 00:15:53

includes having that vision of what you want to go into in the

Nellie Harden: 00:15:57

kitchen. Right? And putting things in the pot having the

Nellie Harden: 00:16:00

resilience in case it does flop. Like you said, we've all done

Nellie Harden: 00:16:03

that. And my my kids love to make crepes. Well, it took them

Nellie Harden: 00:16:08

like, I don't even know 20, not 20, probably 10 tries before it

Nellie Harden: 00:16:13

was, you know, edible and good. Eggs. Yeah. And so. So yeah,

Nellie Harden: 00:16:20

just having that resilience of not giving up in the

Nellie Harden: 00:16:23

vulnerability of trying something new and the discipline

Nellie Harden: 00:16:27

to keep going. So

Unknown: 00:16:28

I'm trying to figure out what went long to Yes. You

Unknown: 00:16:31

know, yes, it's, and that's a lesson that you use in every

Unknown: 00:16:34

part of your life. You know, you just don't say, Oh, I failed,

Unknown: 00:16:37

and never try again. You know, you become a success by

Unknown: 00:16:41

analyzing what you did, what you could have done better, what

Unknown: 00:16:45

maybe went wrong, and what needs some tweaking? I mean, that's a

Unknown: 00:16:48

formula for success in anything you do.

Nellie Harden: 00:16:50

Yes, I completely agree. So in your specialty, and

Nellie Harden: 00:16:56

what you do, first, let me ask, how do you help your clients in

Nellie Harden: 00:17:02

I love the idea of kitchen confidence, and you're just

Nellie Harden: 00:17:04

really helping them? Get in there and how and build that,

Nellie Harden: 00:17:08

you know, discovery and vision and resilience, right?

Unknown: 00:17:11

Absolutely. So I take a client, where they are some

Unknown: 00:17:16

people I work with are really good cooks, but they're tired of

Unknown: 00:17:20

the same routine they have. They're limited in their recipes

Unknown: 00:17:23

are limited in their seasonings they use, or the techniques and

Unknown: 00:17:26

they say, help me expand. Other people say, I don't know how to

Unknown: 00:17:31

boil water. So, you know, I take them where they are. And I

Unknown: 00:17:36

started the basics, you know, let's see what you have in your

Unknown: 00:17:39

pantry. Let's see what kind of seasonings you have. What do you

Unknown: 00:17:42

have in your refrigerator? What do you have in your freezer,

Unknown: 00:17:44

because, you know, you don't want somebody to have to go out

Unknown: 00:17:46

and spend hundreds of dollars on things that they may or may not

Unknown: 00:17:50

use. But let's learn what you have first, and see what we can

Unknown: 00:17:54

expand it. So we start there. We start with how to meal plan. And

Unknown: 00:17:59

everybody's definition of meal planning is different. And

Unknown: 00:18:01

everybody's lifestyle is different. Some people love to

Unknown: 00:18:05

meal, plan everything for the weekend on Sunday and cook

Unknown: 00:18:07

everything. Personally, I can't do that. But I can help you if

Unknown: 00:18:12

that's what your lifestyle wants, you know, and needs.

Unknown: 00:18:15

Other people say, I just need to know two days. Fine. I can I can

Unknown: 00:18:19

teach you how to do that. I even do meal plans for people with

Unknown: 00:18:22

recipes and shopping lists for people who just say, just give

Unknown: 00:18:25

it to me. I don't want to learn, right. But if you learn how to

Unknown: 00:18:32

cook, you learn how to do things like batch cooking, because

Unknown: 00:18:36

nobody wants to be cooking from scratch every day, you don't

Unknown: 00:18:38

have the time. There's other things you'd rather be doing

Unknown: 00:18:41

with your time and life is pulling you in a million

Unknown: 00:18:44

directions. So one thing I teach people is how to batch cook. And

Unknown: 00:18:47

an example of that is making more of something than you need

Unknown: 00:18:51

at any one given meal, but that you can use another time. Now if

Unknown: 00:18:55

your family is like my family, they don't want to be eating

Unknown: 00:18:59

that same excess meal for the rest of the week. Because you

Unknown: 00:19:02

just have to shoot yourself you'd be bored out of your mind.

Unknown: 00:19:05

So what I do is I teach people how to repurpose that leftover.

Unknown: 00:19:10

So I'll give you an example of that. You said you don't eat

Unknown: 00:19:14

meat, so I'm going to give you a non meat. So for my meat eating

Unknown: 00:19:20

kids, I would make agent spicy turkey meatballs for you. You'd

Unknown: 00:19:24

make Asian spicy tofu meatballs, okay, and it takes maybe 15

Unknown: 00:19:29

minutes to prep. And I baked them in the oven on a sheet pan

Unknown: 00:19:33

so there's no grease splattering anywhere and they're healthy.

Unknown: 00:19:36

And then I would put them with let's say a pad tightening and a

Unknown: 00:19:40

pad time goes on. Wow, that's really exotic. It's a rice

Unknown: 00:19:44

newbie to buy in the grocery store to cook it you pour

Unknown: 00:19:47

boiling water over it. Not hard. And then if you want to make a

Unknown: 00:19:51

peanut sauce, you can take whatever peanut butter you like

Unknown: 00:19:55

a little orange juice and fresh ginger garlic soy sauce. If

Unknown: 00:19:58

you're gluten free a little tomorrow Boom, you got a peanut

Unknown: 00:20:01

sauce, you got your noodles, and you've got your tofu meatballs

Unknown: 00:20:05

to go on it. Now that's dinner number one. Dinner number two

Unknown: 00:20:09

later on in the week is you can take those tofu people's

Unknown: 00:20:13

crumbled them up, take some poison sauce, you can buy that

Unknown: 00:20:16

in any grocery store or Sriracha or whatever kind of even

Unknown: 00:20:20

barbecue sauce, whatever you have put it on the lettuce leaf,

Unknown: 00:20:23

but the crumbled tofu meatballs on it. And now you have a

Unknown: 00:20:26

lettuce taco. With your toppings you're not cooking again, you're

Unknown: 00:20:31

just reusing it and because you're using a different

Unknown: 00:20:34

seasoning or sauce on it, it doesn't taste like you're eating

Unknown: 00:20:38

leftovers anymore. You can make if I like to make a my kids like

Unknown: 00:20:43

a chicken tikka masala, you can make it with tofu, you can make

Unknown: 00:20:46

it with 10 pay. And if you don't want to cook from scratch, you

Unknown: 00:20:49

can buy Tikki Masala sauce from Trader Joe's for pennies. And so

Unknown: 00:20:53

I'll tell you your your protein at some onion, garlic, ginger at

Unknown: 00:20:57

the sauce, 15 minutes, your dinners done, and you're gonna

Unknown: 00:20:59

make a big thing of rice to go with it. You can even put

Unknown: 00:21:02

spinach in the dish, you know, and just have your a one pot

Unknown: 00:21:05

meal with your side of rice. So if you have a big thing of rice,

Unknown: 00:21:08

and you have leftover rice, the next day, you can take that

Unknown: 00:21:12

already cooked rice stuff some peppers with it. You can add

Unknown: 00:21:16

whatever protein you want you to stuffed peppers, you can take

Unknown: 00:21:20

that same leftover rice and make fried rice because the secret to

Unknown: 00:21:24

making fried rice is the rice is going to be a day old. So

Unknown: 00:21:28

instead of saying, Oh, I'll never remember to make rice the

Unknown: 00:21:31

day before. No, make a big batch. And you use the leftovers

Unknown: 00:21:35

for totally different meal the next day. So now your cooking

Unknown: 00:21:39

time has been reduced tremendously. Your family's

Unknown: 00:21:43

thinking you're a genius. You're kind of like so proud of

Unknown: 00:21:46

yourself, because you've saved yourself all this working time.

Nellie Harden: 00:21:50

Wow. I love that. That's ingenious. Yeah, that's

Nellie Harden: 00:21:53

ingenious, because we do get into these meal ruts, you know,

Nellie Harden: 00:21:56

where we have the same thing every single week, the same day.

Nellie Harden: 00:22:00

And Taco Tuesdays, you know, we have Taco Tuesday, every single

Nellie Harden: 00:22:05

Tuesday. But we all look forward to it for now. But it during the

Nellie Harden: 00:22:08

pandemic. I know a lot of people got into some big food ruts too.

Nellie Harden: 00:22:12

And even especially with going out when the pandemic first

Nellie Harden: 00:22:17

started, we were ordering Papa John's on Friday nights ordering

Nellie Harden: 00:22:21

some pizza. And little did we know we would be doing that a

Nellie Harden: 00:22:26

year later because everything was still going on. We're like

Nellie Harden: 00:22:28

Okay, wait, no, that's 50 times. We need to not do this.

Unknown: 00:22:34

So here's her here's, here's some some help with those

Unknown: 00:22:37

routine Taco Tuesdays. So I said you know, sometimes it's very

Unknown: 00:22:40

easy. If you want to make a plan to have theme nights. So Taco

Unknown: 00:22:44

Tuesday would be a really great theme. But instead of making

Unknown: 00:22:47

that same taco every Tuesday, one night you can make poke, not

Unknown: 00:22:53

for you necessarily but a pulled pork taco, or chicken taco, or

Unknown: 00:22:58

tilapia or shrimp taco. So it's still Taco Tuesday. But you're

Unknown: 00:23:03

jazzing up the proteins and the proteins or you can change it

Unknown: 00:23:07

and make your taco Tuesday the way you like, but maybe you'll

Unknown: 00:23:11

make a Mexican Coslada put on the tacos instead of salsa and

Unknown: 00:23:15

guacamole. So there's little things you can do to keep within

Unknown: 00:23:20

your comfort zone. But make something very different.

Unknown: 00:23:24

Something with your pizzas or Pappajohn pizzas. One thing that

Unknown: 00:23:28

I would suggest is and this is my family loves to do this. I

Unknown: 00:23:31

buy pizza dough, you can buy pizza dough, or you can even

Unknown: 00:23:35

make a buy a pizza crust, whatever you want. And we make

Unknown: 00:23:39

make your own pizzas and I have all the fixings on my counter.

Unknown: 00:23:42

And everybody rolls out their pizza dough or whatever crust

Unknown: 00:23:45

they're using a cauliflower crust, it doesn't matter. And

Unknown: 00:23:48

then they put it on a sheet pan with your own toppings bake it,

Unknown: 00:23:52

they make crazy shapes. And nobody says it's got to be

Unknown: 00:23:55

round. And everything's individualized. So somebody

Unknown: 00:23:58

wants pepperoni and you just want mushrooms and onions. Go

Unknown: 00:24:01

for it. You know, now you're not spending a minute on 50

Unknown: 00:24:04

different pizzas, and you're having your kids participate in

Unknown: 00:24:08

the kitchen. And you can make it into a contest who can make the

Unknown: 00:24:11

funniest shape. Who can guess what shape you're trying to

Unknown: 00:24:14

make? You know, there's a million things you can do to

Unknown: 00:24:16

make it fun.

Nellie Harden: 00:24:18

Yeah, no, I agree. And we've done that one

Nellie Harden: 00:24:20

before. And it is so fun in order to everyone can just make

Nellie Harden: 00:24:24

whatever they want. And yeah, we've had some pretty

Nellie Harden: 00:24:27

interesting creations happen before. Okay, so the importance

Nellie Harden: 00:24:34

you touched on it a little bit earlier and about the family

Nellie Harden: 00:24:38

dinner table and what that looks like and how it's made a

Nellie Harden: 00:24:42

priority and why it should be such a priority to at least have

Nellie Harden: 00:24:47

this time every day. And a lot of people find meal time because

Nellie Harden: 00:24:52

you usually sit down in order to eat. That is an easy time to

Nellie Harden: 00:24:57

pick that everyone can get together but Tell me a little

Nellie Harden: 00:25:00

bit about how you work with families with the dinner table.

Unknown: 00:25:05

Sure, you know, oftentimes by the time you sit

Unknown: 00:25:09

down for dinner, you as a parent, your spent, you know,

Unknown: 00:25:13

you've done whatever you had to do during the day, whether

Unknown: 00:25:15

you're working, volunteering, doing things in the house,

Unknown: 00:25:18

flipping your kids, whatever you're doing. And then you said,

Unknown: 00:25:21

Oh, my God, now I got to figure out what to make for dinner, and

Unknown: 00:25:24

then you make the dinner. And the last thing you want to do is

Unknown: 00:25:27

be nice. Sometimes you just want to I. So that's not a really

Unknown: 00:25:32

good way to have a successful dinner, I just have to say. So

Unknown: 00:25:35

you could think in advance what you can do to have a successful

Unknown: 00:25:39

dinner, you know, I always tell my kids, if you're going to have

Unknown: 00:25:42

company over, if you're going to go over somebody's house, it's

Unknown: 00:25:45

always a good social skill to think of things you want to talk

Unknown: 00:25:49

about, or games you want to play or do something like that. So I

Unknown: 00:25:52

give that same advice to the people that I work with. And I

Unknown: 00:25:55

say, there's so many ways that you can have a conversation that

Unknown: 00:25:59

doesn't start with, how was your day? What did you learn in

Unknown: 00:26:03

school? Because inevitably, your kids are going to say, it was

Unknown: 00:26:07

fine. What did you learn? Nothing? What did you do?

Unknown: 00:26:10

Nothing. Eight hours, my tax dollars that work? Nothing, you

Unknown: 00:26:15

know, it's not a good way to have a meal at any stretch,

Unknown: 00:26:19

imagine. So I teach parents how to play games at the table. And

Unknown: 00:26:24

there's tons of games you can play that people of any age can

Unknown: 00:26:28

play. I also tell them that you can tie in a food theme to your

Unknown: 00:26:34

meal. An example of that is there used to be a marketing

Unknown: 00:26:38

agency in California. And on top of their building, they had this

Unknown: 00:26:42

hideous, huge, maybe 1050 foot tall statue, the body of a human

Unknown: 00:26:47

like a lumberjack body. And the top was a chicken head from

Unknown: 00:26:51

miles around, you can see just as it is that well, the town

Unknown: 00:26:55

eventually started to really like it because it was so

Unknown: 00:26:57

hideous. And then one day, you know, the marketing company

Unknown: 00:27:01

there moved or went belly up and somebody bought the building.

Unknown: 00:27:04

And they wanted to take down that statute of the Chicken Boy,

Unknown: 00:27:07

and the town was incense you can't do that. That's our

Unknown: 00:27:10

beloved Chicken Boy. And they actually rallied to get the

Unknown: 00:27:14

funds to take it off the building and put it in a park, a

Unknown: 00:27:17

local park, so it could be celebrated. And they made

Unknown: 00:27:21

Chicken Boy day an official local holiday, like September

Unknown: 00:27:25

five Chicken Boy day. So one of the things I do with my clients

Unknown: 00:27:28

is I find out what interesting holidays are coming up for the

Unknown: 00:27:31

week. And they're all stupid, you know, they're fun. That's

Unknown: 00:27:35

the whole idea is to have fun. And so let's say was Chicken Boy

Unknown: 00:27:38

coming up and say, okay, chicken boys coming up. Let's think of

Unknown: 00:27:41

like two or three chicken recipes you want to make. And

Unknown: 00:27:44

now let's think about the conversations you could have

Unknown: 00:27:47

about Chicken Boy day. And you know, you're going to explain

Unknown: 00:27:50

what Chicken Boy day is. And then you could have

Unknown: 00:27:52

conversations like, well, if you are half boy or girl, whatever

Unknown: 00:27:57

you are, and half animal, what would that other half be? Hmm.

Unknown: 00:28:02

And why would you have any superpowers? What could you do

Unknown: 00:28:06

that you couldn't do as a kid? Now you're sparking creativity

Unknown: 00:28:10

of thought process, you're making dinner really, really

Unknown: 00:28:14

interesting, because nobody's talking about what they learned

Unknown: 00:28:17

in school. But you're learning about your kid, and how they

Unknown: 00:28:21

think and what they aspire to. You could change the

Unknown: 00:28:23

conversation, you could say, well, these people just saved

Unknown: 00:28:28

their money to donate to get this as part of a park. What in

Unknown: 00:28:32

your childhood is so precious, that you'd never want to part

Unknown: 00:28:36

with? And why? And it may not be the obvious in today think it

Unknown: 00:28:40

is. So now you again you're talking about conversations,

Unknown: 00:28:44

you're getting things going. So I when I when we talk about

Unknown: 00:28:48

things to do with the table, in addition to games, I give

Unknown: 00:28:51

examples of what they could be talking about. It could be food

Unknown: 00:28:54

related. It could be current events related.

Unknown: 00:28:59

April is National Poetry Month. And so one day I told my family

Unknown: 00:29:03

you know, April's National Poetry Month, and you know,

Unknown: 00:29:06

grown because you've got teenagers less than they ever

Unknown: 00:29:09

want to hear about was National Poetry Month, even my husband

Unknown: 00:29:12

Oh, please, she's added again. But you know, the human me

Unknown: 00:29:15

because it always ends up fun. So you know, they have to

Unknown: 00:29:18

participate. So I said, so when you come down to dinner tonight,

Unknown: 00:29:21

I want you to bring a poem. Oh my god, you could have heard the

Unknown: 00:29:24

groaning in Peoria. So it's like, don't be so limited in

Unknown: 00:29:28

your thinking. A poem doesn't have to be Roses are red,

Unknown: 00:29:32

violets are blue or Shakespeare sonnet. A poem could be rap

Unknown: 00:29:35

lyrics. Yeah, it could be any jingle. It could be anything

Unknown: 00:29:39

songs to whatever you like. It's all poetry. If you come down and

Unknown: 00:29:44

think about it. I said, you can write your own. You can bring

Unknown: 00:29:46

down whatever you want. Just please come down to dinner with

Unknown: 00:29:50

a poem. So my son came down on my I wrote my own phone. It was

Unknown: 00:29:55

a poem on I hate poetry and cracking up It was hysterical.

Unknown: 00:30:01

My daughter came with some silly little jingle because you know,

Unknown: 00:30:05

she couldn't be bothered. But she came down with something. My

Unknown: 00:30:08

husband wrote a rap song that was so hideously obnoxious and

Unknown: 00:30:13

funny that when people come over and says, Hey, did you know I

Unknown: 00:30:16

wrote a rap song? Can I sing it for you when he takes out a

Unknown: 00:30:19

sheet of paper, and he's still proud of it? Oh, you never know

Unknown: 00:30:23

what comes out of these kinds of things. And it makes dinner

Unknown: 00:30:28

memorable. You know, my son bought a girlfriend home for

Unknown: 00:30:32

dinner recently. And I said to her, did Max tell you that we

Unknown: 00:30:36

play games at the dinner table? And she said, Yes, he did. And I

Unknown: 00:30:39

said, Did he tell you that we expect you to play too? And she

Unknown: 00:30:43

said, Yes. So we played these games, and it broke the ice. And

Unknown: 00:30:47

it wasn't like looking at her and saying, and what do you want

Unknown: 00:30:50

to be when you grow? It was a great way to laugh and get to

Unknown: 00:30:55

know somebody and feel comfortable. And my kids always

Unknown: 00:30:59

say, even, you know, the teenagers now and they still

Unknown: 00:31:02

say, what are we gonna play at dinner tonight? Can I pick the

Unknown: 00:31:04

game. So they want to come they want to be part of the meal,

Unknown: 00:31:09

they want to be part of the family experience. It gets rid

Unknown: 00:31:12

of all the stress you have during the day. Now, sometimes

Unknown: 00:31:16

you want to talk about serious things. And they obviously feel

Unknown: 00:31:19

more comfortable doing it at a dinner table, because it's a

Unknown: 00:31:22

safe place. And everybody needs a place where they can vent

Unknown: 00:31:25

where they can feel relaxed, where they can be themselves,

Unknown: 00:31:28

whether it's being foolish, or being serious, and the dinner

Unknown: 00:31:31

table is an ideal place for that.

Nellie Harden: 00:31:34

Yeah. Wow. I think that is a tremendous

Nellie Harden: 00:31:38

takeaway are games at the dinner table? I think that's fantastic.

Nellie Harden: 00:31:42

Well, is before we get going, because I think you've shared so

Nellie Harden: 00:31:47

much wisdom on here today. But before you get going, is there

Nellie Harden: 00:31:49

any like quick tips or meal prep ideas that you have that our

Nellie Harden: 00:31:54

listeners can go ahead and take from this right away? Besides,

Nellie Harden: 00:31:58

I'm going to go find a game for the dinner table tonight?

Unknown: 00:32:01

Oh, absolutely. My big advice is stop putting so much

Unknown: 00:32:05

pressure on yourself. It's only food. You know, it's really only

Unknown: 00:32:09

food. And instead of feeling bad about a meal that you make, if

Unknown: 00:32:13

it doesn't come out, right, make a family story about it. It's

Unknown: 00:32:17

okay to be the butt of the joke, if you're willing to have fun

Unknown: 00:32:21

with it. So if you take the pressure off of preparing family

Unknown: 00:32:24

meals, now you feel more empowered to be creative. Start

Unknown: 00:32:29

small, nobody says you have to make those Swedish meatballs,

Unknown: 00:32:33

because God knows what I was thinking. But you could take a

Unknown: 00:32:36

piece of chicken and you could say, How can I flavor it a

Unknown: 00:32:40

little differently. You could learn the trips are cooking that

Unknown: 00:32:43

chicken faster. So instead of cooking a whole chicken breast

Unknown: 00:32:47

and waiting your 3540 minutes, if you slice it will cook much

Unknown: 00:32:52

faster. And dinner will be done in 15. So if you can learn the

Unknown: 00:32:56

tricks to make it faster and more enjoyable, learn some new

Unknown: 00:33:00

seasonings, learn how to make spice blends in advance. So you

Unknown: 00:33:04

just have to take it out of your pantry and put it on your main

Unknown: 00:33:08

dish instead of where's that garlic and where's no oh my god,

Unknown: 00:33:11

I bought 70 Things have uninstalled because I keep

Unknown: 00:33:14

forgetting I own it. You know, when you add a little bit of

Unknown: 00:33:17

organization, a little planning, life becomes easier cooking

Unknown: 00:33:21

becomes more of an adventurous fun thing to look forward to

Unknown: 00:33:25

instead of the don't ask you what's for dinner time kind of

Unknown: 00:33:28

attitude. So start small, start little little changes and get

Unknown: 00:33:34

your confidence. And as you get more confidence. You can

Unknown: 00:33:37

experiment, experiment, a little bit more things will come

Unknown: 00:33:40

quicker to you because you start to know what you're doing that

Unknown: 00:33:44

become easier for you. And they'll become more delicious

Unknown: 00:33:47

and more fun.

Nellie Harden: 00:33:48

Oh, I love it. All right. Well, thank you so

Nellie Harden: 00:33:51

much for being on here. And before you leave, I want to I

Nellie Harden: 00:33:54

want you to be able to tell the listeners where we can find you.

Unknown: 00:33:58

Sure. I have a Facebook group called easy weeknight

Unknown: 00:34:02

dinners for busy moms. And I share recipes and humor and all

Unknown: 00:34:09

kinds of wonderful things that everybody needs to have as part

Unknown: 00:34:11

of their routine. I have a Facebook page Malibu's to

Unknown: 00:34:15

secrets I have a website valuables to secret calm. You

Unknown: 00:34:20

can reach out to me if you have any kind of cooking questions,

Unknown: 00:34:22

either notes to this podcast or send me an email at Linda at

Unknown: 00:34:28

balluta secret.com. And I do have an offer for those who are

Unknown: 00:34:32

listening. There is a an e book you can get called. I'm drawing

Unknown: 00:34:39

a blank. It's been a long day. Something like time, Saturday

Unknown: 00:34:46

saving tips for busy moms. So in that you'll get some sample

Unknown: 00:34:51

pantry lists to have some simple quick games to play at your

Unknown: 00:34:55

table. And a couple of quick tips, cooking tips and wonderful

Nellie Harden: 00:34:59

and All of that will be in the show notes. But

Nellie Harden: 00:35:02

for someone listening, I just want to hear you spell Bala.

Nellie Harden: 00:35:05

boosa real quick.

Unknown: 00:35:06

Sure. BALAB o s t, a apostrophe s secret.

Nellie Harden: 00:35:14

All right. All right. Well, thank you so much

Nellie Harden: 00:35:17

for being here, Linda, this was amazing.

Unknown: 00:35:20

A lot of fun. I wish everybody happy cooking. And

Unknown: 00:35:23

please send me pictures of what you cook in and join my groups.

Unknown: 00:35:27

And you're not alone. Let's make it a nice community and have a

Unknown: 00:35:30

lot of fun. Oh,

Nellie Harden: 00:35:31

absolutely. All right. Thank you so much. Bye,

Nellie Harden: 00:35:34

bye. Thank you so much for listening today. And I hope

Nellie Harden: 00:35:38

you're able to take something from our discussion that you can

Nellie Harden: 00:35:41

use to build the foundation of self love leadership in your own

Nellie Harden: 00:35:45

family. If you are a parent with children, 17 or younger, and

Nellie Harden: 00:35:49

especially those around nine and up, I would love to extend an

Nellie Harden: 00:35:53

invitation to you to the best club in town. The family

Nellie Harden: 00:35:58

architects Club is a private club where intentional parents

Nellie Harden: 00:36:01

go that want to love support, connect or reconnect, and really

Nellie Harden: 00:36:07

truly help guide their kids and teach them how to self lead in

Nellie Harden: 00:36:11

discipline and leadership. This is an online community and the

Nellie Harden: 00:36:15

you are welcome to it. Parenting is a project and you are the

Nellie Harden: 00:36:20

architect of this one. You plan you design and oversee the

Nellie Harden: 00:36:23

construction of the beginning of someone else's life. And that's

Nellie Harden: 00:36:27

what goes into these first 6570 days. And it will be the

Nellie Harden: 00:36:33

foundation for the rest of their lives. So come join the club.

Nellie Harden: 00:36:36

You can find your invitation on the front page of my website,

Nellie Harden: 00:36:40

Nelly hardened.com. That is ne ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you

Nellie Harden: 00:36:48

again for being a part of this conversation today. And if

Nellie Harden: 00:36:50

something really resonated with you, or if you have a question,

Nellie Harden: 00:36:53

please don't hesitate to connect with me. You can find me on

Nellie Harden: 00:36:56

Instagram at Nellie Hardin. And lastly, if you love the

Nellie Harden: 00:37:00

information, please please leave a five star review and a comment

Nellie Harden: 00:37:05

so more and more families can be impacted by harnessing the

Nellie Harden: 00:37:08

strength of these ideas and tools in their own families. So

Nellie Harden: 00:37:13

thank you so much. Happy building you guys and I'll see