The 4 Conversations That Need to Happen In Your Living Room To Move Forward After Another School Shooting

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

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podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

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way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come and hear all the discussions, get all the

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tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into

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the real challenges and raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Nellie Hardin,

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big city girl turns small towns sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

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minds of families by helping them build selfless discipline

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and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the

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kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch

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their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the

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6570 family project. Let's go Hi, everyone. Welcome to the

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6570 family project podcast. In this podcast, we are normally

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putting aside the power struggles and and finding paths

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forward especially for our young women today in the second half

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of childhood, as parents so that we can help them walk toward

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that confidence, respect and wisdom mental wellness that they

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need in order to prepare them for the world. But today in the

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wake of everything that's been happening here in the US, and

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what has shaken the US and around the world. Today, I want

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to talk all about what we can do with our kids. How can we help

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have another conversation with our kids? How can we face them

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again, and say this has happened again, but still help them know

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that they are safe, right? In a world that is obviously not and

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that unexpected can come. And this is a really tough time I'm

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going to take my time in doing this podcast today. I myself

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have had a huge emotional week, which then I have guilt over

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saying you have you know, no right to have emotions when you

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know people are really, really hurt out there. I might cry.

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I've been crying all week. But that's okay, we this is a hard

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time it's a hard subject. And I think the more real that we can

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be with each other, the more real we can be with our families

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and our kids about it, the better we can become right? So

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we if you can't make sense out of this, there is no sense in a

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senseless act like this right? What we have to focus on, when

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anything senseless happens in our lives, whether you are a

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direct hit or you know, you are just auxilary hit on the side,

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right? You have to focus on what you can do to positively affect

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you and those around you in the situation. And in order to move

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forward do the next right thing, right? To steal a line out of

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frozen two right there on a has that song. And that song is

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really powerful. Actually, I refer to it a lot. Just do the

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next right thing takes take the next step and do the next right

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thing through the heart. Right. Anyway, so there are so many

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victims here, right, the more stories that have been coming

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out and unfolding, the more lives that we see have been

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changed. Some lives are forever gone. And that is tragic. Some

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are shattered, some have incredibly steep mountains that

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have now been put in the way of their life, that they are going

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to have to do the hard hard work of getting past. Some are

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changed with guilt that is so powerful than I worry about

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them. Some are so changed with anger that it will take a long

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road of healing, some with frustrations, desperation,

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sadness, disbelief, you name it. We've all felt the reverberating

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effects of what happened here, just like we have all the times

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before. So the first school, I mean, there's been mass

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shootings in so many different places, right, but the first

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school mass shooting that I could really find on record was

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in 1998. And then of course, Columbine, was a year later and

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the first one

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In Thurston high school, I believe it something like that.

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But the point is, it was a child, right? In most of these

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cases, this is a child, or someone that is just coming out

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of childhood. And they still are mentally a child I talk a lot

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about just because they turn 18 does not mean they're an adult,

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right? Just because they turn 18 and have the adult title does

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not make them an adult person. Right. And so these are children

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that are obviously missing so much that are turning around,

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because, and hurting other children. And it's not always

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the case, but most of the time, it is kids hurting kids, right,

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that first one was a 15 year old, that killed his parents and

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then went to school and killed some students at school, right.

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Columbine happened, you guys, there's been 350. You know, now

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that I'm saying this out loud, I too want to say this is what

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we're going to be talking about today. So if you do have, and I

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apologize for not saying it sooner, but if you do have kids

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in the car, and this is a conversation you want to have

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just with them later on, feel free to pause this and come back

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to it when it's just your yours or listen to it as a family that

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is up to you and how you communicate with your family.

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But we are going to be talking about these hard subjects today.

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So there's been 300 over 350 school shootings since 1998.

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That is more than one a month. This is 2022. On average we have

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had when you space it out more than one a month of school

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shootings. So when these things keep coming up over and over and

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over. How do we still help our kids know that it's okay. And

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that we're going to go on? And that tomorrow isn't going to be

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a tragedy for us? We pray? Right.

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So again, we have to talk about the things that we can do

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something about. So we're going to go through four conversations

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today. And these four conversations are conversations

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that need to be happening. And they cannot can not be finger

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pointed and go around in a circle. I mean, you you think I

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have four kids, right? So I think of my four kids sitting

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down in a circle, or I guess it would be more of a square if

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they're sitting down, right. But anyway, and one is just finger

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pointing at the other and finger pointing at the other end. It

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just goes around what happens you guys. It just revolves. It

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keeps going around whatever's happening keeps happening. And

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everyone is just blaming everyone else. No one is

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standing in their accountability and saying, Okay, this is what

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we can do. This is what I can do in my area, this what you could

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do in your area, right, this is what I could do in my area, all

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of that, but standing still in your accountability. I think I

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hope I pray that everyone in this nation, everyone in this

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world can agree that this what happened last week in Uvalde,

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Texas, where an 18 year old, walks into a school and has a

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gun and kills 19 Kids and two teachers, and then the

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subsequent passing of one of those teachers, husbands, right.

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I hope and pray and I think that no one in the world thinks that

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is okay. No one in the world would agree and shrug their

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shoulders and say, yep, that's life. Right? I think we can all

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get on the same page about that. I think we can all get on the

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same page that what happened is not okay. And there were things

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that led up to that, which means in these four conversations

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we're going to talk about today, everyone can take accountability

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in them. Okay. Think about like a Venn diagram style, right?

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With these four circles, and there's going to be this middle

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area where they all overlap. And that's where we need to be but

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in order to get there, everyone needs to stand in

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accountability. Okay. Now, this is not going to be a pill

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political, I am not playing sides of the aisle so to speak,

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or what have you. That is not who I am. And everyone has a

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right to their own opinions, but these four conversations have to

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be being had and accountability has to be in them. Okay, guys.

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So let's start with the first one, which is mental health.

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Okay. I've heard this week. This one being finger pointed to a

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lot. Well, he was disturbed. Well, he had that right. Okay.

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So he had mental health issues. And obviously, obviously, right.

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So what When we do hear, and I'm talking about what can you do in

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your living room? What can you do in your dining room right

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now? That's what today is about? How are we going to move forward

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with our kids, even though this is happening? So it's having

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conversations. Okay, it sounds so, so simple, but it's

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something that is not done nearly enough. Having

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conversations, the worst thing that can happen is that we as a

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nation, and as a world, especially as a nation, because

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let's face it, there isn't other nations that really go through

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this, like the United States does, which begs its own

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question. But the worst thing we can do as a nation is become

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numb to this, we can just accept it as a norm. I've talked

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before, and I will talk again, and I will say it until my

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grave, I am unsubscribing. to normal, there is too many norms

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today are normals that are just being accepted, that are hurting

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us that are hurting the people, the kids, the families, that

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these norms are, right. So, do not become numb to this. Every

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time it happens, allow the pain to come in. Because if you

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don't, that wall is not going to serve you and it is not going to

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serve the future kids in the future schools in the future.

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assailants that go out, it's not. So what happens matters.

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And we need to acknowledge the sad and the scary. Even if it's

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hard, it's going to be hard, there's no doubt about that, it

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is going to be hard.

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So have the conversations. You don't need to get into gruesome

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details necessarily, you don't have to, you know, tell the

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details of someone's account. But ask them what they're

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hearing, ask them what they're feeling. Share with them, what

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you're going through, as a parent about your concerns,

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right? Be vulnerable in these conversations, this is a

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vulnerable time, with very vulnerable things happening all

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these degrees of victimhood that we had or that I talked about

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earlier. So I said earlier, and I always say this, if you listen

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to the beginning of this podcast, or if this is the first

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time that you've ever heard it, I always say and I truly, truly,

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truly believe that the best way to change the world is one

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living room at a time. I was recently recently listening to

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Nicky Gumbel, who is the head of alpha. It is a Christian program

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that I served in for many, many, many years. And I just happened

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to be listening to him last week I started on Monday before any

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of this happened. And then I was listening as the week unfolded.

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And he echoed what I teach my parents and my families I work

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with and how to cultivate that all people, all people are

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looking for three things, love, belonging, and purpose. Almost

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everything that a person has can fit into those things, love,

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belonging and purpose never, never have I known as senseless

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tragedy like this or any any senseless tragedy to have been

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committed by a person who actually holds all three of

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these cards, I can truly say that I have love I can truly say

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that I have belonging somewhere I can truly say that I have

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purpose. And if I am wrong, let me know I do want to know I am a

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student of biology of a student of psychology, I want to know

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these things. But to the best of my knowledge, no one that has

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ever been the the person that has done these things, has those

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three things truly innately in them in their foundation of who

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they are. So how can we as a parent, how can we help our

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children have all of three themes, these three things and

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foster all three of them? Right? So that's a big question looking

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at your family looking at your kids love, belonging, purpose,

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love first, helping them know that they are belong or that

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they belong somewhere. And then helping them develop a purpose

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that is unique to them in their own special awesome way with

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their gifts and talents. So love belonging and purpose.

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So we need to really be proactive. I mean, this is where

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it comes down to we've proactivity toward mental

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wellness instead of hoping against and having reactive

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behaviors toward mental illness right. It is just like eating

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your fruits and veggies which also play a role by the way in A

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lot of our mental health, but it's like eating our fruits and

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veggies so that we can be physically healthy, and also

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help with our mental illness. But we have to build mental

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wellness, not just repair mental illness. Okay, I want to say

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that again, because it's something that it is, that is a

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norm, I would subscribe to. It's not a norm today, though it is

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not, I hope and I pray it becomes one. But it is not one

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yet. We need to build mental wellness into our family

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structure into our kids, instead of just repairing mental

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illness. Okay. And mental illness does not need to be a

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norm. It happens a lot. It is out there a lot. It does not

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need to be an accepted norm if you if you haven't been accepted

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norm, right then you're just saying, Yep, that status quo. I

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am I hear this, and I'm coming at this from experience. You

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guys. I've heard kids say to their parents, you know what?

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I'm normal. I'm depressed. Leave me alone. Right? No, that's the

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last thing No, yes, you are a normal kid. But depression does

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not need to be your normal. Let's help you through that. We

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want the normal to look like Hey, Mom, Dad, I am feeling

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depressed. I need some help. Can you help me? Right? If we can

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get to that norm, that would be a better norm, I would subscribe

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to that norm. But not I am depressed. I am not my identity

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is not based in depression. But I am feeling depressed. Right?

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There are two really different things you guys. So helping our

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kids build mental wellness, which is exactly what we do here

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with the people I work with. And so many amazing people out there

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that I know that are building mental wellness, instead of just

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reacting to mental illness. And then pray. So I I am a

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Christian. And I personally think that prayer is one of the

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most powerful things you can do for someone but think about it

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even beyond that. Think about the side effects of prayer,

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write it prayer as a family, you're acknowledging what

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happened, we're not becoming numb to it, we're not sweeping

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it under the rug, we are acknowledging what happened, we

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are talking through our thoughts, we are asking for

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help, we are accepting the things that we cannot change.

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And we are asking for strength to do the things that we can,

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the scary things. And that scary thing could be going and talking

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to someone in legislation, right. And that can make some

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policy change, or it is going and talking to a parent that has

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been shattered by what is happening. Or maybe it is just

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getting out of bed, whatever that next step is for you asking

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for the strength to do that next right thing for you. So that's a

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conversation about mental wellness. And this is where I

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stick my my life and my work is around helping parents develop

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that mental wellness within their daughters before they

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leave home so that they are leaving home with that

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confidence from the inside out right radiating from them, and

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having the respect for themselves and others. Others

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write others to and wisdom of themselves and others how to

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connect and relate to and take care of others and themselves

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and all of the other facets of wisdom and respect. But the next

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conversation you guys is over gun control and policy.

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So I told you I'm not getting political on here and I am not.

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But again, like I said, I hope that everyone can see that this

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is not okay. What is happening is not okay, no matter where you

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are, the NRA convention is happening right now. And I know

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so many people that were going decided not to write it doesn't

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mean that they are anti gun now, right? It just means that they

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now are saying you know what, it's not the right time, because

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what happened is not okay. So, gun control and policy. This is

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where people need to stand up and have accountability here. So

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what can that look like? Well, every person has their own

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opinion about gun control. And I'm not even going to get into

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mine. But I think and hope we are all on the same page when I

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say that If you are a person that has guns, protect them,

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lock them up and be responsible for goodness sakes be

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responsible. Now, this case that happened most recently, was not

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a case of somebody taking someone's but there has been a

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lot of others that are that were right, they took, they took it

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from a parent, they took it from a friend, they took it from an

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uncle, all of these different pieces. So just because it

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wasn't this case, doesn't mean it's not a problem. So if you

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have guns, if you're a person that has guns, then protect

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them, lock them up with the ammo somewhere else be responsible.

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If you are a person that sells guns, do your due diligence as

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best as you can. Because I don't want the blood of any more

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victims on to be felt on your hands either. I can't imagine

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that Wait, that must be on some of these people. If you want to

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ask your representatives to take action, if you want to go to a

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rally, if you want to go somewhere and calmly, logically

Nellie Harden: 00:21:10

sensibly talk to somebody about this, then do that. Go make

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legislation happen if that is what you are called to do. You

Nellie Harden: 00:21:21

can help in this arena, if that is what you are called to do,

Nellie Harden: 00:21:24

you can help in this arena. I've seen kids recently learn like

Nellie Harden: 00:21:30

within the last week you guys before this, but within the last

Nellie Harden: 00:21:33

seven days, learning how to shoot guns properly, not because

Nellie Harden: 00:21:38

they want to do this or even because it's sport, but because

Nellie Harden: 00:21:41

we live in a world where this is unfortunately a possibility. And

Nellie Harden: 00:21:46

so they are equipping their children and themselves with the

Nellie Harden: 00:21:50

knowledge and know how of how to use a gun. i It breaks my heart,

Nellie Harden: 00:21:56

it breaks my heart because these families didn't want to ever be

Nellie Harden: 00:21:59

in this situation. But that's something that they felt that

Nellie Harden: 00:22:02

they needed to do. You guys, I you know, I grew up in a hunting

Nellie Harden: 00:22:06

family. And I get that and that goes down into one of our other

Nellie Harden: 00:22:10

conversations we'll have in a couple minutes. But I get guns,

Nellie Harden: 00:22:14

all right, I get them but not in this way. And we have to take

Nellie Harden: 00:22:20

accountability and all of our ways. So we're taking

Nellie Harden: 00:22:23

accountability, and mental wellness, right and mental

Nellie Harden: 00:22:27

wellness, we need to take accountability and gun control

Nellie Harden: 00:22:30

and policy to now our next conversation is bleeds into a

Nellie Harden: 00:22:37

little bit with gun control, which is cultural acceptance. So

Nellie Harden: 00:22:41

like I said, I grew up in a hunting family, I get it, I have

Nellie Harden: 00:22:44

pictures of me in literally a diaper holding a gun. And it was

Nellie Harden: 00:22:50

probably the last time I held the gun. But that was when I was

Nellie Harden: 00:22:54

just because in my my family, they they hunt. And that's okay,

Nellie Harden: 00:22:58

right? If you have a gun to protect your family, I get it, I

Nellie Harden: 00:23:04

get it. If your job description has you having one and using

Nellie Harden: 00:23:08

one, I get it, right? You want them if you want them because

Nellie Harden: 00:23:14

they're cool, right? I get it. But there are consequences and

Nellie Harden: 00:23:18

precautions that need to be had. And I've talked to a lot of

Nellie Harden: 00:23:21

adults that have them because they think that they're super

Nellie Harden: 00:23:24

cool and super fun. And it's more of a collector's item that

Nellie Harden: 00:23:28

they and a hobby, a more of a hobbyist, right. And I encourage

Nellie Harden: 00:23:34

you if that is you maybe look at a job, right a line of work that

Nellie Harden: 00:23:40

you would have, and you would be able to have that interest come

Nellie Harden: 00:23:44

into play. Right? That might be something for you.

Nellie Harden: 00:23:48

Here's where we really get into some spicy water here is when

Nellie Harden: 00:23:54

you think they are American, and I'm using quotes here, air

Nellie Harden: 00:23:59

quotes. You think guns are an American way of life? Well, they

Nellie Harden: 00:24:05

are. And here's the outcome of some of that rhetoric and some

Nellie Harden: 00:24:10

of that thinking as well. Right. So I beg you the question, what

Nellie Harden: 00:24:17

does American mean to you? What does that mean to you? I saw not

Nellie Harden: 00:24:23

long ago within the last year I saw this picture of this

Nellie Harden: 00:24:27

American family. All very, you know, rich, Caucasian family.

Nellie Harden: 00:24:35

Well to do sitting in this beautiful white, big house on

Nellie Harden: 00:24:41

their couch all of these beautiful things around them.

Nellie Harden: 00:24:44

And it was a I believe it was a couple of parents and then it

Nellie Harden: 00:24:47

was two daughters and a son that looked like they were all in

Nellie Harden: 00:24:50

middle in high school. And all of them were holding guns. For

Nellie Harden: 00:24:55

me that was one of the most atrocious um sights that I could

Nellie Harden: 00:25:00

ever see. Because and let me give you my because before you

Nellie Harden: 00:25:04

start if you're listening to this and rolling your eyes at

Nellie Harden: 00:25:06

me, because I had just seen recently right before this maybe

Nellie Harden: 00:25:12

a couple of weeks before this, an article about this family

Nellie Harden: 00:25:16

over in the Middle East, that they had guns, and they were

Nellie Harden: 00:25:21

being trashed because of it. They are violent, they are

Nellie Harden: 00:25:25

wicked. Look, all they want to do is bloodshed, all of this

Nellie Harden: 00:25:29

stuff. And it was a family in the Middle East that had guns.

Nellie Harden: 00:25:33

And now there was this all American family in America that

Nellie Harden: 00:25:38

had guns, and it was being viewed as picturesque. You guys,

Nellie Harden: 00:25:42

this is this is a cultural acceptance issue that needs to

Nellie Harden: 00:25:46

be addressed. It needs to be addressed. What are we? What are

Nellie Harden: 00:25:52

we doing? What is our message? Why do we have them? What does

Nellie Harden: 00:25:57

it mean to be American to you? What does it mean to have that

Nellie Harden: 00:26:02

What feeling do you get? If that is you? And you have that with

Nellie Harden: 00:26:07

you? That you need that kind of power? Right? It's not

Nellie Harden: 00:26:14

protection at that point, it's power. And these automatic

Nellie Harden: 00:26:18

rifles, they are not protection, they are power. Right? Why do we

Nellie Harden: 00:26:25

have to have that kind of power? Like I said earlier, hunting,

Nellie Harden: 00:26:29

get it protecting your family, you have something in the house,

Nellie Harden: 00:26:32

get it? Your job has it, I get it, even I can kind of kind of

Nellie Harden: 00:26:37

understand if you're a collector and a hobbyist, I get it and

Nellie Harden: 00:26:41

you're collecting, you know, these old and nice guns,

Nellie Harden: 00:26:43

whatever. Right. But we have an issue when it comes to power.

Nellie Harden: 00:26:50

Why do we need the power? Right? Think about it. If one of one of

Nellie Harden: 00:26:56

the things that we talk about all the time in here is power

Nellie Harden: 00:26:59

struggles, it's one of the key things we talk about. And it is

Nellie Harden: 00:27:02

dropped the rope pull up a chair, if if you don't, if you

Nellie Harden: 00:27:07

drop your power, right, people can struggle, and one person

Nellie Harden: 00:27:12

can't play tug of war. If everyone dropped the power, then

Nellie Harden: 00:27:16

we would be able to pull up a chair and actually have

Nellie Harden: 00:27:18

conversations, right? These are hard conversations, you guys,

Nellie Harden: 00:27:22

these are hard conversations, but ones that have to be had.

Nellie Harden: 00:27:26

Now, this is Memorial Day weekend. And I don't know when

Nellie Harden: 00:27:30

you're listening to this, it might be recent, it might be in

Nellie Harden: 00:27:34

a year or two from now or more. But right now, this is 2022. And

Nellie Harden: 00:27:39

it's Memorial Day weekend coming up. And we are here to celebrate

Nellie Harden: 00:27:43

the lives of those that fell to protect this country. For a long

Nellie Harden: 00:27:47

time, I actually ran a celebration in our town for

Nellie Harden: 00:27:51

Memorial Day, and I would meet these these veterans that had

Nellie Harden: 00:27:55

fallen friends, right. And they were there. And they fought for

Nellie Harden: 00:28:01

our freedoms, right? freedom isn't free. I totally understand

Nellie Harden: 00:28:05

where they're coming from and where that comes from. But do

Nellie Harden: 00:28:08

you think for one minute, that those people, those men and

Nellie Harden: 00:28:13

women that have fallen for the freedom of the United States of

Nellie Harden: 00:28:16

America would be okay, with these rifles walking into

Nellie Harden: 00:28:21

elementary schools? No, right? We need to change the cultural

Nellie Harden: 00:28:26

norms here. It's another normal, I am not willing to subscribe

Nellie Harden: 00:28:30

to.

Nellie Harden: 00:28:32

Okay, so we've been through mental wellness, we've been

Nellie Harden: 00:28:37

through mental health. We've been through gun control and

Nellie Harden: 00:28:40

policy, we've been through cultural acceptance. And our

Nellie Harden: 00:28:43

fourth one that we need to talk about is kind of an umbrella.

Nellie Harden: 00:28:47

Right? It is school safety, security presence policy person,

Nellie Harden: 00:28:51

or I'm sorry, police procedure, and even social media, right? We

Nellie Harden: 00:28:58

hear over and over again, the red flags that are going off and

Nellie Harden: 00:29:02

people that are seeing some hard behavior, but we're told it's

Nellie Harden: 00:29:08

just them, accept them for who they are. Right. And so you're

Nellie Harden: 00:29:12

like, Well, I guess it's not a red flag. I mean, we hear about

Nellie Harden: 00:29:16

these kids that are in class and they're sitting in the corner

Nellie Harden: 00:29:19

and they're rocking themselves, or they have a violent outburst

Nellie Harden: 00:29:23

and they're like, it's okay, that's just who they are. We

Nellie Harden: 00:29:25

need to accept them for who they are. No, no, we do not because

Nellie Harden: 00:29:32

that person needs help. And they need help before they hurt other

Nellie Harden: 00:29:37

people that are going to need help. If that ever is the case.

Nellie Harden: 00:29:41

It is not a normal. I am willing to subscribe to you guys. Again,

Nellie Harden: 00:29:46

that goes back to the mental wellness that we talked about.

Nellie Harden: 00:29:49

We want to be proactive, not reactive. Right? We don't want

Nellie Harden: 00:29:54

people saying like the excuse I have heard from kids with their

Nellie Harden: 00:29:59

parents that say A mom, I am depressed, I am normal, leave me

Nellie Harden: 00:30:05

alone. And they shut the door. And the parent just sits there.

Nellie Harden: 00:30:09

Because they're like, Well, I guess that's who my kid is. No,

Nellie Harden: 00:30:16

you can help, right? And there's places you can reach out to.

Nellie Harden: 00:30:20

There's so many hotlines, there's therapists, there's

Nellie Harden: 00:30:23

coaches, there's mentors, and there's an army of people out

Nellie Harden: 00:30:27

there trying to help, right? Because we don't want it to get

Nellie Harden: 00:30:30

to this point ever again. And I hope if you're listening to this

Nellie Harden: 00:30:33

in a year, or two, or five, or 10, from now that this was the

Nellie Harden: 00:30:37

last time that this happened. I fear it's not. But I really hope

Nellie Harden: 00:30:44

it is. I really hope it is. So let's talk about this a little

Nellie Harden: 00:30:48

bit. Because looking back that retrospective look on social

Nellie Harden: 00:30:53

media, for example, in this case, and I we've seen it happen

Nellie Harden: 00:30:58

again and again is, well, they did post this, they did say this

Nellie Harden: 00:31:03

on this platform or what have you. We need hands down better

Nellie Harden: 00:31:08

regulation there. If someone is posting a post of guns and

Nellie Harden: 00:31:14

having some obscure tagline to it. We need to be able to flag

Nellie Harden: 00:31:22

that somehow. Because that is a cry for Somebody stop me.

Nellie Harden: 00:31:27

Somebody stopped me, please. I'm going down this road. I am

Nellie Harden: 00:31:31

covering it up with I'm so cool. I'm covering it up with

Nellie Harden: 00:31:34

ambiguity I'm covering it up with Look at me, look at me,

Nellie Harden: 00:31:38

look at me. But no one's looking at me. Right? Remember, they

Nellie Harden: 00:31:44

want to be loved. Everyone wants to be loved wants to belong, and

Nellie Harden: 00:31:48

once purpose. And they're saying, Look at me, look at me

Nellie Harden: 00:31:52

Look at me, and no one's looking at me. So I'm going to make them

Nellie Harden: 00:31:55

look at me. So social media, I think, can have a big advantage

Nellie Harden: 00:32:03

here. If we just get the logistics in there. And I am not

Nellie Harden: 00:32:06

a tech person. I am not an IT person. But there has to be some

Nellie Harden: 00:32:10

things in there that can be put in place. I mean, if we are

Nellie Harden: 00:32:14

doing things like connecting the entire world through these

Nellie Harden: 00:32:17

platforms, there is certainly some measures that can be taken

Nellie Harden: 00:32:21

in there to flag some things that are happening.

Nellie Harden: 00:32:26

Now, some, some people have taken their kids out of school

Nellie Harden: 00:32:31

and decided to homeschool in the wake of all of these shootings

Nellie Harden: 00:32:34

from years past and even now. The conversation is ignited and

Nellie Harden: 00:32:39

reignited over and over again and I don't blame you. Right. If

Nellie Harden: 00:32:43

this is a possibility or desire for your family in the least

Nellie Harden: 00:32:46

bit, I encourage you to try it. As always, if it is in you, if

Nellie Harden: 00:32:51

it's a question for you, should we try this, then try it and see

Nellie Harden: 00:32:54

what happens. And the worst that can happen is you have some

Nellie Harden: 00:32:58

quality time at home. And then you send them back to school.

Nellie Harden: 00:33:02

Right? So for if you're thinking that right now, I just want to

Nellie Harden: 00:33:07

say do I think you should or shouldn't, that's not my place.

Nellie Harden: 00:33:11

I do not should on people. So if but if it is something that

Nellie Harden: 00:33:17

you're interested in, go ahead, try it and see. I did it for

Nellie Harden: 00:33:20

seven years. And it was one of the most wonderful experiences

Nellie Harden: 00:33:24

that I've ever had. And I came into it as a person that had

Nellie Harden: 00:33:28

never even thought about homeschooling before, had no

Nellie Harden: 00:33:31

experience with it before whatsoever. I was terrible. To

Nellie Harden: 00:33:34

be quite honest. In my first couple of years, I had a lot of

Nellie Harden: 00:33:38

things to figure out and work on both academically and with my

Nellie Harden: 00:33:42

kids and with myself but man did we make it work because we

Nellie Harden: 00:33:47

dedicated ourselves to making it work and it was incredible. So

Nellie Harden: 00:33:51

if that's you and you're listening to this, then try it

Nellie Harden: 00:33:54

and see or reach out I'd love to be able to help you through

Nellie Harden: 00:33:56

that. Get involved and know that safety precautions or know the

Nellie Harden: 00:34:03

safety precautions at your kids school. If your kid goes to any

Nellie Harden: 00:34:07

school outside of your home, know the safety precautions

Nellie Harden: 00:34:10

right know what is happening in there. And yes, you guys it is

Nellie Harden: 00:34:15

such a pain to go in, check in sign your name go through

Nellie Harden: 00:34:20

scanners, have your bag checked and do whatever needs to be done

Nellie Harden: 00:34:24

at the school just to go and like drop off a book or drop off

Nellie Harden: 00:34:27

the lunch or the project they forgot at home or what have you.

Nellie Harden: 00:34:31

But you know why it's there. Be patient and understand that it

Nellie Harden: 00:34:36

is in place for your child. Okay. Understand that no one

Nellie Harden: 00:34:44

wants this to happen and people are doing what they can and need

Nellie Harden: 00:34:48

your support much more than they need your scrutiny. There's some

Nellie Harden: 00:34:52

people and there was some to the best of my knowledge and from

Nellie Harden: 00:34:56

what I've seen there's been some major you know, Miss mistakes

Nellie Harden: 00:35:00

and misunderstandings that have happened not just this time, but

Nellie Harden: 00:35:03

in so many other times. And when you're talking about these, you

Nellie Harden: 00:35:06

know, sometimes it's a small town, sometimes it's a big city,

Nellie Harden: 00:35:09

sometimes it's rural, sometimes it's in like urban areas, right?

Nellie Harden: 00:35:16

All these different things. No one, there is no normal when it

Nellie Harden: 00:35:20

comes to who's going to be hit by this, right? We know that.

Nellie Harden: 00:35:25

But these people need our support, and not our scrutiny as

Nellie Harden: 00:35:30

much, right? Especially right in the aftermath, when we take off,

Nellie Harden: 00:35:35

especially when you know, this happened in Texas, I'm in North

Nellie Harden: 00:35:38

Carolina, if I start yelling, and screaming over here, I am

Nellie Harden: 00:35:42

not dropping the rope and pulling up a chair, I am pulling

Nellie Harden: 00:35:45

on that rope tighter and tighter and tighter, and it's going to

Nellie Harden: 00:35:48

hurt somebody, it's going to trip somebody, it's going to

Nellie Harden: 00:35:51

make it worse, right? So we need to be able to be calm. So we can

Nellie Harden: 00:35:57

use the logic centers of our brain, we can be accountable and

Nellie Harden: 00:36:00

all of these four areas that we're talking about today. And

Nellie Harden: 00:36:04

we can actually make progress and go forward. Everybody

Nellie Harden: 00:36:07

yelling at each other, everybody pointing fingers at each other

Nellie Harden: 00:36:10

is not going to do anything, we need to be calm, we need to be

Nellie Harden: 00:36:13

accountable. And we need to move forward and do the next next

Nellie Harden: 00:36:17

right thing in each of these areas. Not just one of them, or

Nellie Harden: 00:36:21

two or three, but each of them. If you are a person listening to

Nellie Harden: 00:36:27

this, and that works in a sector of the school security, and

Nellie Harden: 00:36:32

thank you, for you, to you if you do, and I just want to know

Nellie Harden: 00:36:37

that we appreciate your work. And we love that you try and

Nellie Harden: 00:36:41

help keep our kids safe, right? All of the schools out there,

Nellie Harden: 00:36:46

every teacher is rocked I have so many teacher friends that

Nellie Harden: 00:36:51

work in you know, any kind of school. Not just home schools,

Nellie Harden: 00:36:57

but I'm talking public, private charter, etc. And every time

Nellie Harden: 00:37:03

this happens, it is such a toll on them. The principals, the

Nellie Harden: 00:37:08

superintendents, the schools, the teachers aides, the

Nellie Harden: 00:37:11

students, obviously, the cooks in the cafeterias, right? All of

Nellie Harden: 00:37:16

these, it's so hard, and they are rocked every time. So I just

Nellie Harden: 00:37:21

want to reach out and give each and every one of you a hug right

Nellie Harden: 00:37:24

now, because I know that this is hard.

Nellie Harden: 00:37:27

So all four of these conversations, mental health, we

Nellie Harden: 00:37:34

have gun control and policy, right, the legislative, we have

Nellie Harden: 00:37:39

school safety, security, police procedure and social media,

Nellie Harden: 00:37:45

right. And then we have cultural acceptance, all four of these

Nellie Harden: 00:37:49

conversations. And their results need to have that overlap Venn

Nellie Harden: 00:37:54

diagram style to keep our children, families, schools,

Nellie Harden: 00:37:58

churches, grocery stores, right, this was only 10 days after

Nellie Harden: 00:38:02

another one at the grocery store that gunned down all of those

Nellie Harden: 00:38:05

people, right, those amazing people, and our grocery stores,

Nellie Harden: 00:38:10

our movie theaters, our restaurants and our world

Nellie Harden: 00:38:13

protected. teaching our kids that finger pointing at whose

Nellie Harden: 00:38:18

fault it is instead of being accountable and taking action

Nellie Harden: 00:38:21

never solves anything, either. So if you are a person that has

Nellie Harden: 00:38:26

the guns in your house, and you're like, Nope, it definitely

Nellie Harden: 00:38:29

wasn't this it was that right? No, it was everything. Take

Nellie Harden: 00:38:34

accountability. I'm not saying you have to get the guns out of

Nellie Harden: 00:38:36

your house, if that is, who you are and what you do. Again, I am

Nellie Harden: 00:38:40

not trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do here as

Nellie Harden: 00:38:44

far as what you have. But you do need to take accountability. I

Nellie Harden: 00:38:50

know that we have guns in this house, and this is why we keep

Nellie Harden: 00:38:53

them locked up. This is why we are so safe with them. Or this

Nellie Harden: 00:38:56

is why we are going to be and we are making some changes. And

Nellie Harden: 00:39:00

also, how are you feeling about this? And also, let's go see

Nellie Harden: 00:39:05

what's going on at your school and how the safety is there. And

Nellie Harden: 00:39:09

also what social media platforms are you on right now? Right? All

Nellie Harden: 00:39:14

of these places need accountability, you guys, all of

Nellie Harden: 00:39:17

them. It's not just for the people in Uvalde, or other

Nellie Harden: 00:39:22

people that are scarred and marred. And these places that

Nellie Harden: 00:39:26

are scarred and marred, that is not where the accountability

Nellie Harden: 00:39:29

lies. This is a US problem and can only be solved with us

Nellie Harden: 00:39:34

action and us answers to all of these issues. And though the US

Nellie Harden: 00:39:43

is far beyond any other country in this respect, other countries

Nellie Harden: 00:39:48

do have some of these things as well sometimes not nearly to the

Nellie Harden: 00:39:52

degree that we do, but I don't want to say by any means that

Nellie Harden: 00:39:56

we're the only ones there's been some tragedies all over A world

Nellie Harden: 00:40:00

that involves gun violence like this, that involve mental health

Nellie Harden: 00:40:04

like this that involve cultural norms like this that involve the

Nellie Harden: 00:40:07

social media, the gun control, the policy, the safety, the

Nellie Harden: 00:40:13

security presence, right? And includes it all. So if you're

Nellie Harden: 00:40:17

listening to this from another country to this is not just a US

Nellie Harden: 00:40:20

problem. It's just mostly a US problem right now, right? But

Nellie Harden: 00:40:25

these changes can be a world problem, I mean, a world

Nellie Harden: 00:40:28

solution, the solutions can be a world solution. So can we all

Nellie Harden: 00:40:34

agree that this is not okay? If we can agree on that, if we can

Nellie Harden: 00:40:41

just agree on that. Then we can come together and move forward,

Nellie Harden: 00:40:47

drop the rope, pull up a chair, everyone takes accountability

Nellie Harden: 00:40:51

for all of these areas. And we find the next right steps for

Nellie Harden: 00:40:55

each one of these. No one No one of these is a solution. It has

Nellie Harden: 00:41:01

to be multifaceted, and we are all responsible. And we are all

Nellie Harden: 00:41:06

victims in some way, some tragically more than others. And

Nellie Harden: 00:41:12

focusing on what we can do in all four of these areas.

Nellie Harden: 00:41:15

Starting with in our own living rooms, you guys with our own

Nellie Harden: 00:41:19

kids, is where the biggest changes can begin for our

Nellie Harden: 00:41:24

future. Okay, you guys, I know this was hard. I know this was a

Nellie Harden: 00:41:29

lot. I just hope and pray that you are doing well today. And

Nellie Harden: 00:41:37

that you are hugging your kids today. And I hope and pray for

Nellie Harden: 00:41:42

all those that can't both recently. And all of those that

Nellie Harden: 00:41:46

have lost them and all of these senseless acts, in schools out

Nellie Harden: 00:41:50

of schools, on the streets, wherever, right, we can do

Nellie Harden: 00:41:55

something about this, you guys, but it takes all of us taking

Nellie Harden: 00:41:59

accountability in all of these areas. So keep in touch you

Nellie Harden: 00:42:03

guys. Try to laugh, right hug. And remember to keep showing up

Nellie Harden: 00:42:09

with intention and the 6570 the 6570 days of our parenthood

Nellie Harden: 00:42:14

childhood journey, because they need love, they need belonging.

Nellie Harden: 00:42:18

They need purpose. And they need to know that we're here for

Nellie Harden: 00:42:21

them. Okay, guys, I'll talk to you soon.

Nellie Harden: 00:42:25

Thank you so much for listening today. And I hope you were able

Nellie Harden: 00:42:28

to take something from our discussion that you can use to

Nellie Harden: 00:42:31

build the foundation of selfless leadership in your own family.

Nellie Harden: 00:42:35

If you are a parent with children 17 or younger, and

Nellie Harden: 00:42:38

especially those around nine and up, I would love to extend an

Nellie Harden: 00:42:43

invitation to you to the best club in town. The family

Nellie Harden: 00:42:47

architects Club is a private club where intentional parents

Nellie Harden: 00:42:51

go that want to love support, connect or reconnect and really

Nellie Harden: 00:42:56

truly help guide their kids and teach them how to self lead in

Nellie Harden: 00:43:00

discipline and leadership. This is an online community and the

Nellie Harden: 00:43:05

you are welcome to it. Parenting is a project and you are the

Nellie Harden: 00:43:09

architect of this one. You plan you design and oversee the

Nellie Harden: 00:43:13

construction of the beginning of someone else's life. And that's

Nellie Harden: 00:43:17

what goes into these first 6570 days. And it will be the

Nellie Harden: 00:43:22

foundation for the rest of their lives. So come join the club.

Nellie Harden: 00:43:25

You can find your invitation on the front page of my website

Nellie Harden: 00:43:30

Nelly hardin.com. That is N E ll ie H AR d e n.com. Thank you

Nellie Harden: 00:43:37

again for being a part of this conversation today. And if

Nellie Harden: 00:43:40

something really resonated with you, or if you have a question,

Nellie Harden: 00:43:43

please don't hesitate to connect with me. You can find me on

Nellie Harden: 00:43:46

Instagram at Nelly Hardin. And lastly, if you love the

Nellie Harden: 00:43:50

information, please please leave a five star review and a comment

Nellie Harden: 00:43:54

so more and more families can be impacted by harnessing the

Nellie Harden: 00:43:58

strength of these ideas and tools in their own families. So

Nellie Harden: 00:44:02

thank you so much. Happy building you guys and I'll see