What To Do With Your Child And World Threats

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project

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podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the

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way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground

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for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,

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strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the

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tactics and have lots of laughs along the way, we will dive into

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the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as

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parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the

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family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,

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big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front

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porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and

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minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline

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and leadership that elevates the family experience, and sets the

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kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch

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their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the

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6570 family project. Let's go

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the 6570 family

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project podcast where we are putting aside the power

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struggles and finding a path to lead our young women and young

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men toward the confidence, wisdom and respect that they

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need in order to prepare them for the world. And today we're

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gonna be talking about kind of a sensitive subject. So prepare.

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And we're dealing with a sensitive time in history right

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now. And I am not one to shy away from what's really

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happening. And I know this can make some people uncomfortable,

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and some people don't want to talk about it out of sight out

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of mind. But the reality is that it is happening right now. And

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it is everywhere splashed across every social, every news, every

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newspaper, and across many cafeterias and lunch rooms and

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sports complexes and things across the world right now. So I

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thought it was really important to have a conversation about it

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today. And of course, I'm talking about what is happening

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with Russia and Ukraine. Now I am recording this about a week

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and a half earlier than you are then it is being released. So I

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am quite aware that whatever I say today, as far as what what's

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actually happening happening in the news could be different this

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afternoon, let alone in a week and a half from now. But what

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I'm going to share with you today, it will it will

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definitely be useful missing my words here, it'll definitely be

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useful no matter what. So just listen, and I'm going to give

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you five points today that you definitely want to just kind of

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put into your mind as far as how to deal with this with your

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family and your kids. So the world's always been threatened.

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Right? And but right now it's being threatened in a bigger way

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than it is typically threatened. I mean, we we here in history,

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and there's always been wars, there's always been, you know,

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disarray and dismay across all the borders and what have you

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since literally the beginning of recorded history. This has been

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happening, but right now it's just bigger and why is it

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bigger? Well, there is bigger forces that play there's bigger

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weapons at play, there's bigger results at play. There's bigger

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consequences, right? And so it's when I was little Did anyone

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else ever read? Dr. Seuss is the butter battle book. Right? And

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this is what it kind of reminds me up right and it's it's the

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town on one side that does their butter on the upside of the

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toast and the town on the other side does the butter on the

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bottom side of the toast totally inane thing to fight about but

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they are fighting about it. And so it starts off with a little

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like, you know, water pistol or something like that. And by the

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end of the book, it is this huge monstrous weapon that they have

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both, you know, constructed on either side. And I feel like in

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some way we're somewhere in the butter battle book right? Not to

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say that the reason that we're doing it is as inane as butter

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on the upside or the downside, but as far as wars over time

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over since the beginning of recorded history, we are

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somewhere in the years is bigger, mine is bigger, yours is

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bigger, mine is bigger, and this this gameplay that we have going

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on so I have been teaching the history of science which

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coincides with the history of the world over the past 100 I'm

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sorry, the history of world wars, right history of science

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definitely goes hand in hand with the history of world wars

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over the last 100 years. And the fact is, it's an ongoing story.

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Right? It's just that sometimes there's fighting and sometimes

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there's not. And peace is a very borrowed pieces always on

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borrowed time, right. But it's this ongoing story. And it's

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just really interesting, because we just finished reading some

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about World War Two with my kids the other day, and they were the

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ones that were like, Isn't doesn't this have to do with

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some stuff that's going on now? I'm like, Yeah, does. And so let

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me just say, right off the bat, I am not a conspiracy theorist.

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I am not a catastrophist. I am not a super right or super left

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person. What I am, though is I am an observer. And I am a

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researcher, and I am a realist. And the fact is, the world is

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being threatened right now that that is no exaggeration or lie,

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things change daily. And we are trying to just keep up and pray

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and prepare as best as possible as people. And as parents. That

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was a whole lot of peace in there. But it is very true. So

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let me give you a small glimpse of a timeline in here because it

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escalated really quick. And I'm not talking about a timeline for

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what was happening. I'm talking about a timeline as far as what

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was happening in our children's heads and conversations. So 224,

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right, February 24. That's the big headline that's splashed

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across the news and across people's mouths and

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conversations that day, Russia invaded Ukraine, right? To 24.

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Well, on to 25 talks at the high school were ablaze with talks of

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a draft. When is the draft going to come? Well, I wonder what my

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number is going to be? Are women going to be included in the

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draft this time? Of course they will, because of all the, you

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know, equal rights between men and women. So we have to

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prepare, we need to go. That is the conversation happening in

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the cafeteria, right? To 26. Talks about atomic wars and the

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end of civilization are being reflected in conversations and

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texting, in more cafeteria, right? And across social media

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outlets and things like that for kids, for kids. Massive

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catastrophizing, right? And then it is a whole pattern. It's been

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a whole pattern since then, as far as what's going to happen,

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when's it going to happen? Right? What's going to happen?

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When's it going to happen, which means and there's been more

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news, but in the whole pattern comes a lot more imagination

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coming from the kids, and a lot more stories that are coming

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from the kids. So even if they are not on social media, or

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watching the news stories that are being told, you're gonna get

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things like I had a kid, a young woman come up to me at youth,

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where I serve every single week. And she was like, did you hear

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that moms and babies were blown up. I was like, Oh, wow. Okay,

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so we have to have this, you know, we're going to have this

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conversation right now, it really wasn't the time for it.

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But we are going to have that conversation right now. Because

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this young woman was going around and talking to a bunch of

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different people about it. And I was like, Okay, we need to, you

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know, sit down and talk about this, she's obviously having a

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lot of feelings about this. She wants to be the one to tell

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people about this. And so we need to, to have that in here.

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Because everyone in there is coming from a different

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perspective, different home, different ideals, different ways

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that they communicate with their kids. And so this is what I'm

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talking about. Even if you don't think it's a threat, or even if

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you want to put it in, you know, in a separate envelope and shut

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it and put it away because you're dealing with other things

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at home and you don't want to think about it in your in the

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mentality, there's nothing I can do about it. Therefore, I will

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not spend time thinking about it. I will not spend my emotions

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worrying about it. And I'm just going to put it over there. If

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you have kids, I mean, a three of mine are homeschooled, right?

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And they're still having these conversations with friends. And

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so I'm going to go through with you five things that you can do

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right now as this is escalating, or this is hopefully de

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escalating by the time you're listening to this but with

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anything, any of this big world news, these history making

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events. I want you to keep these five things in mind. Okay, so

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number one, don't sweep it under the rug. Right? This is a real

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event. These are real people's lives over there. They need real

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help. And this is history in the making. So when we create this

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us and them mentality or perspective, when they're when

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they're young, it persists. Right? And they get this idea of

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That's not my problem. It's just one of the greatest excuses of

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all time, right? This is how we have people that have so much,

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you know, income, yet we have starving people in the world.

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And I'm not saying that you need to give everything off your back

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in order to help. But I've seen this on big scales and on small

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scales. That's their problem. I don't have to deal with it. I

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grew up in the suburbs of Detroit, in Michigan, in the

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United States of America, Detroit, especially back then,

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they've really done a lot of beautiful work now, in order to

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reconstruct and rebuild their communities. But back then,

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Detroit was not a place that you wanted to go right in the early

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and mid 80s. And it was living in the suburbs. I probably

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lived, I don't know, maybe say 45 minutes out, right, right

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down Woodward, if any of you Michiganders that are listening,

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and so I remember back then, oh, that's a Detroit problem. That's

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a Detroit problem. I was living in the suburbs of Detroit, I was

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45 minutes away. And I it was never a thought to me, oh, let's

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go down and see what we can do and help. Because it was very

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much in us and them in our communities that we were in up

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there. Right. We were in the in the quote unquote, safe part.

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And they were right. The they they were Detroit. And so

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there's this separation between them. And my point being that if

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you create this, US them when they're young, they're going to

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have to take a lot of work later on in order to break through

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that. And it's not going to be easy. It's not going to be easy.

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As you remember the good Samaritan story, right? I am a

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Christian, personally. And in the Bible, there's that great

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story about the Good Samaritan. And so there is someone that is

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beat up on the side of the road. And these people are passing,

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and they're just looking down. They're like, Oh, that really

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stinks for him. Right? And they just move on. These are people

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from his own community. People that were supposedly religious

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leaders and things they were just looking down and saying,

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Oh, poor, you, stinks for you. Moving on, right? This is me.

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That is you. And then there was a Samaritan that came along and

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the Sumerians were not well liked people, they were kind of

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the pond scum, if you will, was the mentality of the Sumerians

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back then. But it was the Samarian that picked him up,

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helped him bandage him up, and helped heal him. Right. So

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that's where, you know, everyone has heard of good samaritan

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Samaritan's Purse, all of those things. That's where that idea

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and phrase comes from the Good Samaritan. Because it was the

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Samaritan that saw the pain in this person. And it wasn't an us

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them. It was a we. And so number one, all that to be said, number

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one is don't sweep it under under the rug and create this us

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and them mentality, right? These discussions need to happen. And

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what are you going to do in those conversations? Well, that

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number two is grow toward empathy, right? Have the

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conversations about what these people are feeling, and needing

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and experiencing and talk about times when you are and have your

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child talk about times when they have been scared or afraid so

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they can relate and connect to the story. And in these

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conversations, you're not just talking about what's happening

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over there. You're also talking about what's happening here,

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right? How are they feeling? How is your child feeling through

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all of this? Are they having any anxieties or anything like that?

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And we'll get more to that in number five, but growing toward

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empathy, is that number two, okay. Try to have them relate to

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what is going on over there. Not in a scary way. Not in a like,

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Oh, it's terrible. And you know, there. Hopefully, none of your

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kids are listening car. But you know, hopefully, you know, this

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is very scary. It's terrible. doom and gloom and terribleness.

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Right, but in a way that's genuine and they can feel and

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understand what's happening out there. Okay, so number one,

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don't sweep it under the rug. Number two, grow toward empathy

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here. Number three, don't obsess about this. Right? Don't obsess

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to the point that news is on in the house. 24/7 and the world

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seems like a catastrophe in the works all the time. Remember,

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this is their perspective, building time in their life.

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This zero to 18 especially in their their second half of

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childhood. They are building their their telescope that

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they're going to see life through for the rest of their

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life. And if they are seeing, Oh, everything is terrible,

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there's no good left in the world, there's only bad,

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everything is suffering, right, that's the lens that they're

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going to see the rest of their lives with. And we don't want

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that. I know you don't want that for them. And so don't obsess to

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the point that this is all you talk about. This is all the

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conversations that you have with your spouse or other people that

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they're overhearing or that you are being dragged into this

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emotionally and mentally and it will lead to physically as well

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because you're going to be so downtrodden in your in how

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anxiety is taking over your body. Okay, so again, don't

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sweep it under the rug, grow toward empathy. Don't obsess

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about it. Number four, is find joy in the simple every day,

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find joy, find joy in a hug, in a laugh in a flower in a walk

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any funny movie, right? We just watched, which was really good.

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The Adam project last night, so good, highly recommend. We all

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really really enjoyed it. So yeah, just enjoy. Sometimes it

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is okay, it is good to enjoy life. And if you haven't seen it

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yet, you can just search it up on Google or whatever. There is

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a little girl in Ukraine in a bomb shelter. That saying let it

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go in Ukrainian. For her. The people that were there, right.

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And so it was so beautiful to see this little girl, I maybe

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she was six around there. And she just got up so brave to just

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get up and sing in front of people, right? Let alone find

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that joy, the smile that swept across her face. I mean, it just

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like tattooed on my heart. It was so beautiful. And watching

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that with my kids, right? It's not just about the catastrophes.

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It's not just about the sadness, it is about people finding

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strength that they never knew they had people finding joy in

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places that were joyless before, right. And that is what we want

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to be sharing with them. Right finding joy, they can find joy,

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we can find joy. This world is a beautiful place filled with

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beautiful people. And yes, some of them. Some of some people

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hurt people. But most people are beautiful and bring joy to the

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world. And let's focus on those. Right? Let's focus on those

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let's focus on Spring is coming in my neck of the woods anyway,

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flowers are coming out. We have the spring showers that are

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starting right dancing in the rain, being totally goofy, and

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freeing that spirit and finding that joy in the simple every

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day. It doesn't have to be finding joy because I'm taking

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like we're covering it up because I'm taking you to a

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movie today. And then we're gonna go out to dinner and then

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we're going to go to an arcade and then we're going to go to

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Disney. And then we're going to do you don't have to cover it

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with this shroud of really happy, like Joy making

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machinery. There's joy out there, just step out, step out

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of your door. Just look around your home, right? I can sit here

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right now and look around and I see a sign for the, like the

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emblem of our homeschool, right, we've had so much joy in our

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homeschool over the last seven years. I have a sign over here

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that one of my daughters made she is she somehow was born. She

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was born in 2007. But it's somehow also a product of the

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80s. She's just picked it up from us. And she loves

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everything at ease. And she made a sign for us in our office that

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says Brian and Nellie to American kids just doing the

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best they can. And I don't know a more truer sign than that. But

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that brings me so much joy and it hangs right here in our

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office, right? There's joy everywhere and help bring that

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alive, right don't get stuck down in in thinking about all of

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the negative that's happening in the world bring the joy. And

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number five is the conversations you're going to have with them

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about them. Okay, and about you to be vulnerable here because if

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you open up it gives them it unlocks their jail doors in

Nellie Harden: 00:19:34

order for them to open up to So ask them what they're feeling

Nellie Harden: 00:19:38

hearing and talking about and listening to in school and then

Nellie Harden: 00:19:43

listen to their answers. Answer their questions. Listen again,

Nellie Harden: 00:19:49

right this is gonna be there's that whole we were given two

Nellie Harden: 00:19:52

ears and one mouth for a reason. We need to listen more than we

Nellie Harden: 00:19:55

speak right? As I say as I'm talking to a mic on a podcast

Nellie Harden: 00:19:59

but there you Go. But I listened to people all week. So it's

Nellie Harden: 00:20:02

okay. Um, so yes, just have the conversations with them about

Nellie Harden: 00:20:07

them. What are you feeling? So what do you think about what's

Nellie Harden: 00:20:10

going on in the world right now? Has it affected you at all? Are

Nellie Harden: 00:20:13

you just kind of away from it? So you don't think about it? Or

Nellie Harden: 00:20:18

how do you think, um, you know, does it give you any anxiety

Nellie Harden: 00:20:23

about that? Or are you sad at all? Do you have any fear about

Nellie Harden: 00:20:29

the future? Or are you good, right, just trying to open it

Nellie Harden: 00:20:34

up, open up and let them dive in, open up again, let them dive

Nellie Harden: 00:20:38

in, right. And we want to open up these doorways of

Nellie Harden: 00:20:41

communication, because if they're hearing a bunch of stuff

Nellie Harden: 00:20:44

at school, or in their text chains or word, wherever they're

Nellie Harden: 00:20:48

getting it from, you want the ultimate conversation to be with

Nellie Harden: 00:20:52

you. Right, the ultimate conversation needs to come to

Nellie Harden: 00:20:55

you. So you can give some grounding to what it is. So to

Nellie Harden: 00:20:58

repeat those five, number one, don't sweep it under the rug

Nellie Harden: 00:21:01

number two, grow toward empathy. Number three, do not obsess

Nellie Harden: 00:21:05

about it. Number four, find joy in the simple every day. And

Nellie Harden: 00:21:10

number five, talk to them about them and what they're feeling.

Nellie Harden: 00:21:15

Alright, having taught. So I've taught, let's see national world

Nellie Harden: 00:21:20

cultural and scientific history over the last seven years and

Nellie Harden: 00:21:25

two words really come to mind about this messy humanity that

Nellie Harden: 00:21:29

we are in messy, beautiful humanity that we are in. And

Nellie Harden: 00:21:32

that is that humans can be so destructive, but they can also

Nellie Harden: 00:21:37

be so resilient and beautiful, right? So destructive, and

Nellie Harden: 00:21:43

resilient are the two sides that I keep seeing, and it just goes

Nellie Harden: 00:21:47

back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth. And

Nellie Harden: 00:21:50

as the architect of the beginning of your child's life,

Nellie Harden: 00:21:53

you have the power and responsibility to navigate how

Nellie Harden: 00:21:57

the outside world is absorbed and deciphered in your child.

Nellie Harden: 00:22:02

And we can only do that if we have these lines of trust and

Nellie Harden: 00:22:06

truths that are that are connected to them. And we

Nellie Harden: 00:22:09

understand how to communicate with them how they take in

Nellie Harden: 00:22:12

information, and what they can, how they process and effectively

Nellie Harden: 00:22:18

deliver information as well. Right? We have to get to know

Nellie Harden: 00:22:21

our kids have that trust and truth. And then we can help them

Nellie Harden: 00:22:26

absorb and decipher what's going on in the world. Okay, you guys.

Nellie Harden: 00:22:30

I hope that this has been a help to you. You know what? It is

Nellie Harden: 00:22:34

hard. It is hard. Absolutely. There's no doubt but follow

Nellie Harden: 00:22:39

these five steps. And we're going to be all right, we're

Nellie Harden: 00:22:41

going to be alright. Okay. Next week, you guys will be back with

Nellie Harden: 00:22:45

another episode. And remember, just keep teaching, keep

Nellie Harden: 00:22:49

laughing keep loving. And above all, remember to keep showing up

Nellie Harden: 00:22:53

with intention within the 6570 parenthood childhood experience.

Nellie Harden: 00:22:58

Because they need you. All right, I'll talk to you soon,

Nellie Harden: 00:23:02

guys. Thank you so much for listening today. And I hope

Nellie Harden: 00:23:07

you're able to take something from our discussion that you can

Nellie Harden: 00:23:10

use to build the foundation of self love leadership in your own

Nellie Harden: 00:23:13

family. If you are a parent with children, 17 or younger, and

Nellie Harden: 00:23:18

especially those around nine and up, I would love to extend an

Nellie Harden: 00:23:22

invitation to you to the best club in town. The family

Nellie Harden: 00:23:27

architects Club is a private club where intentional parents

Nellie Harden: 00:23:30

go that want to love support, connect or reconnect and really

Nellie Harden: 00:23:35

truly help guide their kids and teach them how to self lead in

Nellie Harden: 00:23:40

discipline and leadership. This is an online community and the

Nellie Harden: 00:23:44

you are welcome to it. Parenting is a project and you are the

Nellie Harden: 00:23:48

architect of this one. You plan you design and oversee the

Nellie Harden: 00:23:52

construction of the beginning of someone else's life. And that's

Nellie Harden: 00:23:56

what goes into these first 6570 days. And it will be the

Nellie Harden: 00:24:01

foundation for the rest of their lives. So come join the club.

Nellie Harden: 00:24:05

You can find your invitation on the front page of my website

Nellie Harden: 00:24:09

Nelly hardened.com. That is ne ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you

Nellie Harden: 00:24:16

again for being a part of this conversation today. And if

Nellie Harden: 00:24:19

something really resonated with you, or if you have a question,

Nellie Harden: 00:24:22

please don't hesitate to connect with me. You can find me on

Nellie Harden: 00:24:25

Instagram at Nelly Hardin. And lastly, if you love the

Nellie Harden: 00:24:29

information, please please leave a five star review and a comment

Nellie Harden: 00:24:34

so more and more families can be impacted by harnessing the

Nellie Harden: 00:24:37

strength of these ideas and tools in their own families. So

Nellie Harden: 00:24:41

thank you so much. Happy building you guys and I'll see